


Sacrifice and Survival

by cheriestella



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-09 00:17:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7779229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheriestella/pseuds/cheriestella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set just after S3 ep 7 (off cannon after that) - In the Aftermath of the tragedy Of Lexa's death and how Clarke and; Murphy escape and survive. A Bellarke story, a Slow burn, really slow hang in there with me... Angst & comfort, Intrigue & mystery. All our heroes are here. Written Before episode 8 aired and posted originally on ff.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**So this takes place S3 after E7. ...** **'What happens after Lexa is killed'**

**I do not own The 100, not even a wee little bit.....for If I did there would be enough Bellarke to make us all happy.**

.......

"Octavia why do you keep looking behind you"? Indra asked as she watched the young warrior/woman, who was once her trusted second and now her friend, again look behind her into the distance.

Octavia signed "I guess I keep thinking that Clarke will show up. I don't understand decisions she's made but she's always put SkaiKru first. Maybe she's not who I thought she was. I thought if she came back to Arkadia with me that she could get them to hand over Pike and stop this war."

"Sometimes it seem that War is all the 12 clans know; it is how we have survived" Indra rode slowly looking straight ahead "This war of the clans has been brewing for a long time. I am not sure that even  _Clarke kom Skaikru_  could stop it."

"I know but at least Clarke could have….." Octavia thoughts were cut off when Indra stopped and raised her hand for silence. Octavia didn't question her mentor but just listened, they both looked behind as they heard a rider approving. Octavia drew her sword and Indra her dagger as they turned their horses towards the rider.

A lone horseman raced towards them "Hod op Indra kom Trikru" "Hod op!"

Indra lowers her dagger "it is Mikal kom Trikru. He was under my command before being chosen to serve Heda. While we have nothing to fear from him, his coming here can only be a foreshadowing."

Octavia lowers her sword but does not sheath it.

Mikal rides in fast "Indra, You must return immediately and you Octavia kom Skaikru you must get to Arkadia if you wish to live."

Indra's face hardens "What has happened, the blockade doesn't go into effect until dawn."

Mikal pauses and looks from Indra to Octavia and back to Indra "Heda, Lexa kom Trikru is dead Ticha"

Octavia sheaths her sword slowly as the words penetrate ' _dead, dead? The coalition will fail without Lexa. What will that mean for Skaikru._   _For my friends'_  she thinks to herself.

Indra is shaken but always the warrior she puts aside emotions "How?" she asks sharply.

The Capital Warrior sits a bit taller and glares at Octavia "Wanheda. She killed her."

"No!" Octavia shouts "No. She wouldn't…. she couldn't" Octavia wasn't sure of the relationship between Clarke and Lexa but it was more than just leaders, friends at least, maybe more "Clarke couldn't, if you are Clarkes friend she will die for you, not kill you." She said to Indra.

Indra turned to her fellow Trikru warrior "Tell us what happened."

**...**

Nate Miller stood watch in the Guard Tower overlooking the gate to Arkadia. As Sergeant of the Guard he was responsible for the duty Guards and for maintaining the security watch. The turret stood higher than the surrounding walls and provided him with an almost 360 degree view. Arkadia backed up to a mountain range to the East and to the North but to the West and South faced the valley with wide open spaces. Guard regularly patrolled the mountains but the tower was the main defensive position in what might have started as a small community but was rapidly becoming a fortress. A prison.

He pulls the binoculars up to his eyes and scans the surrounding valley; he then lowers them and squints, then pulls them back up and yells to the guard on the ground.

"Rider coming!"Miller calls out.

Lou, a guard from farm station yells back "Who?"

"Don't know but we'll find out soon enough they're coming in fast" Lou starts barking orders to the other guards and Miller hears the distinct sounds of weapons being made ready.

Looking again through the binoculars Miller watches as the rider approaches, riding fast and laying low over the back of the horse. Miller is puzzled; this rider is smaller than most grounders and with long black hair flying out behind her…..wait …Her? He looks again and hollers down to guard "Wait hold your fire, get Bellamy, get him NOW."

Bellzmy comes running out of the command center "What's up Miller?" he calls up to the tower.

Nate climbs down from the ladder to face his friend and the guard leader and in a quiet muffled voice says "It's Octavia, she's coming in hot and headed right for the main gate."

Bellamy tries to hide his surprise but fails and turns towards the gate as Miller grabs his arm and says "If you let her in, Pike will kill her."

Bellamy looks down at Millers hand holding his arm and glares into his eyes.

"Bellamy that's your sister" Miller says harshly through his teeth as he releases his grasp.

"Open the gate" Bellamy barks to the other guards. As the gate opens he steps out and puts up his hands and grabs the horse as Octavia jumps off.

"O you can't be here" Bell speaks quietly "Pike knows you're working with Kane and that it was you that helped the grounders in the village, ….wait what happened?" he asks as he touches the bruises on her face "who did that to You?"

Octavia looks at him, at the brother she no longer knows and isn't sure she can trust "the grounders, the ones whose village you attacked" Octavia was stoic and stood her ground "Let me in Bell, I need to see Abby."

"O you can't, Pike will have you arrested" Bellamy watched his sisters face and felt a sudden chill, a damp cold creeping through his body. Something was wrong, very wrong. "O, look at me, tell me what's wrong."

Octavia shook her head as her eyes filled and a tear threatened to escape "No" she said looking him in the eyes "Abby needs to hear it first."

Bellamy's face fell ...NO! a voice screams in his head. 'No No No the words matching his now racing heartbeat. He takes Octavia by the arm and walks through the gate, everything seems to be moving in slow motion; it's as if all the life has been sucked from around them. There is no sound, no movement, no color. Anywhere.

Miller motioned for the guards to close the gate as Bellamy signed as he turned his head "Get Abby" he said to Miller  "Have her meet us in the council room and find Kane too, she'll need him."

Miller's eyes met Bellamy's and then he looked at Octavia's face and knew. "God no" He muttered to no one as he sprinted towards medical.

"Bellamy?" Octavia said looking up at her brother who still held her arm dragging her toward the Ark.

Bell shook his head "Don't."

They walk into the council room just as Pike and his second in command Hannah Green, walk in "Well Bellamy, good work" Pike said, "I know this must be hard for you but where did you find her?"

Bellamy doesn't answer right away and he doesn't look at Pike "She walked through the front gate."

"So she turned herself in, well she might just be the key to getting some intel on Kane. Take her to interrogation."

Again Bellamy didn't answer and doesn't move, Pike narrows his eyes "Son I told you to take her to interrogation."  
Bellamy looks up at Pike, he never noticed before but when Pike called him 'Son' it was demeaning. It didn't feel the same as when Kane said it.

"She needs to speak to Abby. It's important." Bell finally let go of his sister's arm and sat her in a chair.

"Bellamy I gave you an order. Now I don't know what's going on here, but…."

"Miller said Octavia was here" Abby's entrance interrupted Pike as Miller escorted her & Kane into the room. As she looked around the room she knew something was wrong "Octavia are you ok? Do I need to take you to medical?" she took Octavia's face in her hands, looking at her cuts and bruises, if taking her to medical would save her from Pike Abby would do it.

The young dark haired woman looked up sadly at Abby "No. but I have news from Polis and I wanted you to hear it from me."

Abby's face slowly began to crumble and her mouth went dry as she sat down suddenly "About Clarke?"

Octavia nodded her head. She looked around the room "I don't know where to start. The commander issued a blockade around Arkadia as retaliation for the attack on the village 2 days ago; they were planning to start arriving by this afternoon. Thousands of warriors with a kill order for anyone caught outside the gates."

"Were?..... What changed?" Pike asked.

"The commander…." Octavia paused and took a deep breath "…Lexa was killed this morning. Indra and I were riding here to tell you about the blockade when a messenger found us. Indra went back to Polis while I rode here."

Bellamy felt relief rush through his body as he let out the breath he had been holding since he walked Octavia through the gate and thought to himself ' _it's the commander that's dead, Lexas dead… not_ … His thoughts were interrupted.

"There's more" Octavia said "Clarke is the one that killed her, she shot her."

"What?!" Abby exclaimed.

"How? Why?" Kane asked taking the seat next to Abby.

Octavia paused "I'm not sure, the messenger said there was a fight" she pause….. "But Abby" Octavia reached back and put her hand on Bellamy's arm, as if to brace him and looked at Abby, "When it happened, I imagine it all happened very quickly but….. Oh God…. Titus Killed her. He killed Clarke" Octavia began to cry softly as Abby stood up quickly only to find her legs wouldn't hold her and she collapsed into Kane's arms.

Pike slowly sat down in the chancellor's seat and took a deep breath "Octavia I know this is hard but can you tell us what happened?"

Bellamy heard every word his sister was saying but very little of it registered. It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room, he couldn't breathe, and he couldn't make his eyes focus.  _'What was wrong with the floor' he thought, it was moving_ ; he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder as Miller helped him in to the chair next to Octavia and relieved him of his rifle. ' _They'd lost her. He'd lost her, he'd lost Clarke. Forever.'_

Octavia brushed tears aways from her cheeks and took a deep breath, she remembered all that Indra had taught her about strength & courage. "Apparently Clarke had found out that Murphy was charged with stealing and being held in the capital."

"Murphy?" Kane asked "Murphy was there? Are you sure?"

She nodded "Yes, He had stolen something with the symbol of the Commander on it and that's punishable by death, something the city guards usually handle, but Titus found out that Murphy was a Skaikru so he questioned him about it."

"You mean tortured don't you?" Miller said.

Octavia shrugged "I don't know, probably" she continued "The report is that Clarke found out where he was, freed him and took him to her room, I guess she was going to help him escape, but Lexa and Titus walked in and there was some kind of a fight, Clarke had a gun and said that she and Murphy were going to leave and as she backed towards the door a guard rushed in and her gun went off and the commander was shot."

Pike got up and starting pacing the room as Octavia continued.

"Titus drew his sword and according to the messenger 'defended his commander buy cutting off the hand that held the gun. Murphy tried to stop him but all that got him was killed. Titus ran him through….and then …." she could no longer hold back the tears that rolled down her cheeks "…then... he killed her. I'm so sorry Abby, I'm so sorry. I tried to get her to leave with me" Openly crying now Octavia reached over to take hold of Abby's hand as Miller stepped in to put a hand on her shoulder, Pike stopped his pacing and with his back to the table he looked up offering prayers for two more that the Ark lost at the hands of the Grounders and no one in the room notice Bellamy slip out.

He didn't know where he was going, he just knew he had to find some air; he walked out of the Ark and across the grounds. He didn't see the faces of his friends, all he could see were bright blue eyes: he didn't hear them as they asked if it was true, he only heard Clark's voice and all the times they fought: he didn't see Jasper follow him towards the gate, he didn't see Harper hold off the guards as he opened the gate and walked out, he only knew that he had lost her, his brave princess was gone and now nothing mattered. All they had fought for, all the sacrifices that had been made it was all meaningless now. He needed air…. why couldn't he find air. He needed to find out who was screaming ….. and he needed to make them to stop.

Jasper knelt beside Bellamy and put his arm around his friend and let him scream. He was joined by Monty who sat on the other side, then Harper and Raven and the few that were left of The 100. They surrounded their friend and leader and they did their best to be strong for him. Because that's what Clarke would have done.

**...**.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this takes place S3 after E7. 'What happens after Lexa is killed'  
> Clarke and Murphy they need to survive, they need to escape. They need each other others help.

…………………

Shit" he muttered to himself. "Shit shit shit!" He said with a bit more emphasis. He looked at her just standing there, hell it didn't even look like she was breathing. Not that he really cared; all he was sure of is that he had to get out of here.

He looked back over at her, God Damnit! He sighed and groaned! He couldn't just leave her. Oh he thought about, several times in the last 5 minutes, just leave her standing there looking for all the world like she no longer cared what happened to her. He stopped pacing and looked more closely 'did she ever care what happened to her' he thought, she took care of everyone, even him sometimes, but he wondered if she ever thought of herself.

He takes her hand and tries to pull her towards the door, but she doesn't budge. He gives her shoulders a good shake, but she continues to stare ahead, he wasn't sure if she was even blinking. Finally he turned her so she could no longer see the blood stained furs lying on the bed.

"Damn it Princess don't make me punch you and don't think I won't either" Murphy shook her shoulders much harder this time making her head snap forward.

"Look Clarke we need to get outta here!" Murphy was trying not to raise his voice because there were guards outside the door. He let go of her and looked frantically around the room trying to find a way out.

He went to the window and looks down "We're not going that way?" He said, realizing they were on the top floor of about a 30 story building. "Clarke is there another way out?"

Clarke just stands there still unresponsive, silent tears rolling slowly down her face.

So he decides to try another tactic "They're going to pin this on us Princess" Murphy grips her shoulders, none to gently and looks into her eyes "they'll pin it on me, you know that." She blinks. Oh now he's getting somewhere.

"Look I know you don't like me, I'm ok with that and the feeling is pretty damn mutual, but I didn't do this." he said pointing at the bloody bed "You gotta get me out of here! Come on Clarke, I can't do this without you, I need your help."

Clarke looked up into Murphy's blue eyes, she never noticed they were blue "I wouldn't let them do that." Her voice was low and tired "I wouldn't…." she shook her head, as much to clear it as to affirm that she wouldn't let them hurt him.

"Well Princess that's what's going to happen when that scary ass bastard comes back in. Is there another way out?"

Clarke nods her head "yea….. um yes, a lot of these rooms have passages between them. This one leads to the council chamber and to .." Clarke looks back at the bed "Lexa's room"

She took a deep breath and looked at Murphy as if seeing him for the first time. "Titus doesn't know about all the passages, or he wouldn't have left us in here." Murphy's lips turn up a tiny bit, she's coming around, and he can almost hear the clockworks in her head starting to go tick tock tick tock. She looked back at the bed, wiped a tear from her face and walked towards the far wall. She opened the closet and moved clothes to the side and pushed the back wall to reveal a small opening. She stood up and motioned for Murphy to go through.

Murphy looked into the opening. "Well of course there are secret passages" he says, knowing she's not really listening "the grounders live a medieval life in modern buildings that were blown up by nukes, so you know that makes sense." he looks back at Clarke "Where does it go?"

Clarke took a step towards the bed her voice still cold and flat "to the council chamber."

"Yea I got nothing, I don't know where or what that is Princess" He says with a bit of sarcasm.

"You'll come out behind a stone hearth. If the room is clear go to the other side of the room, behind the staircase, there's a passage that leads to her room." She took another step closer to the bed "You can make your way out of the building that way."

But before Clarke could take another step a firm hand grabs hold of her arm "oh no, you're coming with me. I don't even know where the hell I am, there's no way I'd make it out of this building let alone out of this God forsaken town. You're coming with me." Murphy pulls her towards the closet and pushes her in; and then follows her though, he pulls the closet door closed and rearranges the clothes as he follows her into the passageway.

They crept slowly through the narrow passageway that leads into the council chamber. Clarke put a finger up to her lips and mouthed the word "quiet".

They stood just behind a heavy tapestry and listened to the voices coming from the council chamber "You go, get her chamber women and take them to the sanctuary the guards have taken Heda's body there, have them prepare her for the conclave." It was Titus Lexa's 'Flamer Keeper', her chief advisor "…And you" he continued "You go and get the Natblidas' ready for conclave." Murphy and Clarke heard a door open and close and Clarke starts to exit the passageway when Murphy holds her back as someone begins talking again "What will you do Master?" Titus voice is low they have to strain to hear it "I must convene the ambassadors and tell them what has happened. And then I will take care of the bodies of Wanheda and the boy. The ambassadors will want to know that blood has answered blood" Again they hear a door close.

Murphy carefully peers around the tapestry and steps out when he is sure the room is empty. Taking Clarkes hand he pulls her across the room.

"He's already told them we're dead. I knew he was going to pin this on us somehow, and if we're dead we can't tell anyone what really happened." They walk behind the spiral staircase and through the passageway in to Lexa's room.

Clarke pulls back against Murphy's hand, looking at the bed she and Lexa had shared so recently. Murphy looked at Clarke and at the bed, the furs and covers rumpled and the subtle imprint of two bodies still visible. Murphy scratched his face with his left hand and sighed showing his discomfort. Handling emotional situations are not his strong suit. Causing them, that's more up his alley.

"Don't flake out on me Princess, I don't know what was going on with you and her but we have to go. Here…." He said grabbing a cloak off the floor "put this on and pull the hood up. if someone sees us there's no denying who you are with all that blonde hair. Now which way?" He says moving towards the door.

"The main stairwell is to the left and the lift is straight ahead, both are heavily guarded. We need to take the back way down. Go right. It's at the end of the hall" Clarkes voice is completely devoid of emotion and Murphy wonders how long she can remain this stoic before she finally brakes. He hopes she lasts at least until they get of the city.

**.............**

Octavia knew where to find him; she knew he'd be at the place he had been haunting for days now. She walked into the clearing near the drop ship. Their first home here on earth. Who would ever have thought that this would be like coming home? Octavia was worried about her brother, these last few days he hadnt slept and hardly eaten. He'd lost Clark so many times, to grounders, to the mountain, even to her own guilt but all those times there was always the hope that he would find her, that she would come back to him. And even after Gina died he seemed to carry on, he made some shitty decisions but he wasn't near as lost as he is now. And she was afraid that Clarkes death had finally broken him. He loved Clarke everyone one knew it, except maybe Bellamy. Octavia wasn't sure what Clarkes' deal was, she knew that Clarke felt the same way for Bellamy, but the feelings they had for each other weren't enough to overcome what she felt was her duty. Octavia snorted ' _duty my ass she thought_ ,' Clarke was trying to cleanse herself of the overwhelming guilt she felt, trying to make things right. The way Octavia saw it, running away never fixed anything. She walked into the drop ship and found her brother standing inside.

Octavia stood there for a few minutes taking it all in, remembering Raven lying on the table, Finn too. Hell Clark had worked her healing magic on all of them at one point or another.

She walked over and took her brothers hand. They were quiet for a while.

Bellamy was the first to speak "One Hundred, 'O', One Hundred started the journey and now ... so few of us left."

"101 Bell" she smiled "You were the stowaway remember"

Bellamy nodded "yea"

"Do you regret it? Stowing away?"

"No. I did it for you" he smiled a little "my sister, my responsivity. And I would have ended up coming down with the Ark so I'm here either way."

Octavia didn't know what to say to help him, …. 'time heals all wounds?' no Bellamy had too many wounds it would feel like an eternity… 'There's a reason for this?' There wasn't though, not really. Sometimes it feels like Clarke was just another person they lost here on Earth…. 'Be strong?' Yea, cause my big brother has never been strong' she thought. So instead of words she just took his arm and pulled it around her shoulders and snuggled next to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Bellamy pulled her close "Thanks O"

Octavia laid her head against his chest " Bell I came out here because Pike is looking for you, Monty told me. But also Kane was asking about you, he wanted to talk to you about Clarke. I think Abby is wondering if they will let us come and get her and bring her here to be buried."

Bellamy hung his head "I haven't talked to Abby...not since you told us...I don't know what to say."

"I don't think you have to say anything, Clarke was her daughter and your friend, your partner. I don't think either of you realised what she meant to you until ..." Octavia's voice faded away.

"I feel close to her here" Bellamy finally said "She saved so many of us."

"So did you…..you both did. You did good here Bell."

Bellamy looked down at his little sister. "That's what Clarke said. More than once."

Bellamy let his arm drop from Octavia's shoulders and turned to walk out "I just don't know if I can do any good without her."

...

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set just after S3 ep 7 (off cannon after that) - In the Aftermath of the tragedy Of Lexa's death & how Clarke & Murphy escape & survive. A Bellarke story, a Slow burn, really slow hang in there with me... Angst & comfort, Intrigue & mystery. ...... Kane, Pike, Octavia and Bellamy devise a plan to find out what really happened in Polis

"Octavia said you wanted to see me." Bellamy said as he walked into the council room with Octavia right behind him.

Bellamy looked briefly at Abby and quickly lowered his eyes "I'm sorry about Clarke Abby, I should have said something sooner but…well…." He left it at that, what could he say that would make either of them feel better.

Abby swallowed "thank you Bellamy" she paused and looked up catching and holding his gaze "I'm sorry for your loss too."

He looked at her, he and Abby hadn't agreed on many things since they landed on the ground, actually they hadn't agreed on anything, except Clarke and what she meant to each of them. Bellamy nodded his thanks and took a seat to the council table.

"Kane you know you don't get to call council meetings" Pike said in his booming voice as he entered the room "As chancellor that's my job" he looked around the room "Good morning Abby, Bellamy, Miss Blake. You want to tell me what this is about Kane" he took his seat at the head of the table.

"I have been thinking about Clarke and all she accomplished here on the ground, all that she suffered and all that she was willing to do to help our people, her people. And it occurred to me that if Clarke were in my shoes and if it was you Abby or Bellamy or any of the 100 , she would have already been investigating your deaths, but we haven't asked a single question about hers."

"Like what?" Octavia asked.

"You two knew her and Murphy the best and from what you've told me Murphy and Clarke fought, you & she banished him and he tried at least once to kill you both and he shot Raven. So here's my question, given all that why are we to believe that Clarke would try to help him, to rescue him?"

Bellamy looked at Kane "Because that's what Clarke would do, she took care of everyone."

"Even Murphy ""Octavia said. "After they banished him, he was captured by the Grounders and a few weeks later showed up at the drop ship, in bad shape, Bell here wanted to kill him" she patted his hand and he shrugged "but Clarke stopped him, she saw where the grounders had tortured him and she believed him when he said that he escaped. Of course we didn't know that the grounders had infected him with a virus and then 'let' him escape. We were all pretty sick for a while but she took care of him, along with all the others."

Kane nodded "Ok so we'll assume for the moment that part of the story is true."

"Kane what is this about?" Pike spoke up "You don't have any authority here and your taking time away from gearing up for the inevitable attack that we know is coming."

Kane looked at Pike, "This is about finding the truth about the death of one of our own. And since when do I need authority to ask questions? Abby…." he looked at Abby and smiled just a little and looked at Bellamy "…and Bellamy, the people Clarke loved the most deserve that, they deserve answers."

Pike leaned back in his chair and waved his hand as if to grant the go ahead.

"Good… Bellamy when we all went to Polis and to TonDC we were required to give up all weapons. Why would Clark have a gun?"

Bellamy frowned and leaned into the table 'he hadn't thought about that, he can't believe he missed that'…. "that's a good question."

Abby spoke up "Maybe Lexa let her have one, for security."

Octavia shook her head "No, No way….even the commander couldn't change that law, that law goes back all most to the beginning, no one possesses fire arms. Even the guards surrounding the commander don't carry them."

"And Clarke had security; she had her own guards appointed by Lexa" Bellamy said.

"So at least some of the story told to Octavia is most likely false…." He paused for a deep breath "what else don't we know?"

Abby looked shocked "are you saying that Clarke might be alive?"

Kane looked at her and took her hand "I don't know, but I do know that if she's dead, we need to know exactly what happened." Kane looked back to the others in the room "Because if she is responsible for the death of the commander, then the Coalition would fall apart and the clans would attack not only each other but us…"

Pike cuts him off "The Ice nation. That's who we need to worry about." He looks at Kane "I think your right to think about what other things might have happened but you're missing something what if Clarke isn't responsible for the commanders' death? What if it's a set up?"

"A Scapegoat?" Bellamy says "Someone could be using her as a scapegoat? Who would benefit the most from that?"

"The Ice Nation would stand to gain a lot if Lexa were to die and Skaikru were held responsible." Octavia said

"Even if we can prove that, it's no guarantee the coalition could hold." Abby said.

Pike added "And why would they go to the trouble of setting up Clarke, we've seen what the Ice nation can go, how big the army is, they don't need a scapegoat to further their agenda."

"Wait ….. Just wait" Bellamy said "we're getting ahead of ourselves. We aren't even sure Clarke and Murphy are really dead. We only know what Octavia was told." He paused "We need to find out."…. He looked around the room …."We need to get to Polis."

 

................................

 

CE


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after s3 epi 7 "what happens after Lexa dies"........... Clarke and Murphy make their escape, but they arent out of danger....not by a long shot.

...

Well at least the fire was warm, he'd gotten used to being cold & sick, hurt & hungry. But the last 36 hours had seen him be all four at once, continuously.

They had managed to get out of the building, but it was slow going, dangerous and took much longer than either of them wanted. There was a reason the back stairs were not well guarded hell they weren't really stairs. They were almost useless as anything other than a deterrent; He could not imagine trying to get up thirty flights. There were several places where the steps just stopped and he would have to lower Clarke down what would have been 8 or 10 steps before climbing down himself and at least one place the steps between floors were gone and they had to climb down the hand rail that was attached to the wall. All the while hoping no one would find them.

"Damnit!" Clarke exclaimed softly as she pressed herself back against the wall and put out her arm to stop Murphy from rounding the corner that lead to the door out of the building.

"Whoa, what is it?" Murphy asked.

"Titus. He's here and it looks like he's looking for something…..or someone."

"Maybe he'll leave let's just wait and see where he goes."

Clarke shook her head "he's has several of his private guards with him." She peered around the corner again "looks like he and two others are headed towards the front but two are still by the back door."

"Two is better than four" Murphy said, "As soon as you're sure Titus is gone let's just rush these guys."

Clarke rolled her eyes "Or we could try to sneak past them." Clarke reached down and picked up a rock and threw it away from the back door which sent the guards racing past them giving them a chance to make it to the back door.

"Now" She whispered as they quickly ran towards the door. Murphy was faster so he reached the door first and as he jerked it open he heard footsteps, a voice yelling stop and Clark gasp as a guard grabbed her from behind, the guard spun her around and punched her several times before Murphy could react, he grabbed the guard and threw him against the wall and hit him several times sending him falling towards the ground. Murphy tried to pull Clarke up and push her towards the door when the second guard attacked him cutting his arm with a sword, Clark threw herself at Murphy's assailant only to find the hilt of the sword swinging towards her mid-section knocking her to the ground near the first guard who was still unconscious, she grabbed his sword "Murphy" she yelled as she scrambled to her feet, Murphy was trying to stay in close to keep the guards sword from inflicting too much damage, he had both hands on the guards sword and was fighting to keep it from slicing his throat, Murphy knew he didn't have much strength left when he felt the guard go limp and fall almost pulling Murphy down with him. He looked up and saw Clarke standing with a bloody sword in her hand. "Thanks Princess, now let's get outta here" he said pulling Clarke through the door and into the alley.

They did what they had to, to make it through the streets to the outskirts of town. Murphy had stolen a coat and hat while Clarke remained under the cloak they had taken from Lexa's room. Once they made it to the outskirts of town Clarke lead them to a cave near the river as the moon was raising.

"I'm going to see if I can find some firewood" Murphy said starting to exit the cave.

"No, they'll see." was all Clarke said as she lay down on the floor of the cave and drifted into a state of unconsciousness hugging Lexa's cloak around her.

Murphy pulled his coat tighter and the stolen hat over his ears and sat against the opposite wall where he had a clear view of the mouth of the cave and was still able to keep an eye on Clarke as she tried to fight the nightmares that invaded her sleep.

The sun was just starting to slip into the cave when Clarke was awakened by the smell of roasting meat and sound of a crackling fire. She pulled herself out of a deep sleep and for a moment she wasn't sure where she was her brain still foggy from sleep and God her body hurt. She looked around and remembered coming to the cave with Murphy and then she remember Lexa, lexa dying, "Lexa was dead, she let out a soft sob. Her friend, her lover, her enemy was dead. Clarke started to roll back into the cloak wanting to both forget the events of yesterday as well as burn them into her memory, when Murphy spoke to her "You might want to wake up, eat something, play doctor on yourself, clean those cuts up. And we should decide what we do next."

Clarke tried not to moan as she rolled over but she gasped as she sat up. Murphy just looked at her "he got you good with that sword. Are they broken?"

"Don't know." She said through her teeth. "How long have we been here?"

"About 12 hours" murphy said offering her a piece of cooked meat.

Murphy rubbed his head, he had a few scrapes and cuts and he had a pretty decent scratch on his throat. He looked Clarke over; she didn't look much better, worse probably. She had a split lip, a gash over her right eye and she was nursing what he is certain are at least cracked ribs. He didn't know how she made it this far, she never made a sound as they made their way through the woods to the cave and now she hardly moved without groaning.

Clark silently took the meat and remained silent. Murphy handed her a large leaf that held a sip or two of water, she drank it down never saying a word.

Clarke leaned back against the wall; she looked at Murphy for a while her expression blank, her eyes empty, she felt empty, but she trusted Murphy and at least she wasn't alone. She let her head fall back and she drifted off to sleep.

Clarke awakened with a start and tried to scream but a hand pressed hard against her mouth prevented that, she felt the weight of a heavy body lying on top of her and panic started to set in, "Shhhhh" was all she heard "Shhhhh damnit Clarke, stop."

Clarke realized it was Murphy but considering their history the panic didn't quite subside. She tried to control her breathing and assess her situation when he started to let up the pressure on her mouth "I heard someone down by the river" was all he said as he removed his body from hers and crawled to the mouth of the cave as peered out "I think they're gone."

Clarke sat up rubbing her cheeks certain he had left bruises on her cheeks, Murphy saw her "sorry about that but you were moaning and groaning pretty loud and I didn't want whoever that was to hear."

Murphy tended to the fire, he kept it small but they needed the heat and the light as well now that it was starting to get dark.

"Do we have any water?" she asked him

He nodded and handed her a cup and an old bucket filled with water. She looked at it as raised her eyebrows "The water I got from the river earlier today, the bucket and cup are from deeper in the cave. I went exploring while you slept. Looks like someone uses this once in awhile; maybe during hunting trips. I don't think they'll mind us taking what we need." He sat near the fire and leaned against the wall.

Clarke nodded at him as she drank deeply.

"Alright Clarke enough with the silent treatment, it's been almost 24 hours, tell me what's going on, why you were there and why she had an AI chip imbedded in her neck."

Clark looked up at him across the flames "So how did you know that was AI technology in her neck?"

Murphy shrugged "I asked first."

Clarke leaned in "How did you know?"

"Fine, I'll go first. I learned a lot on my travels with Jaha, mostly that he's a self-serving prick."

Clarkes lips turned up slightly at that remark, more than a smirk but not quite a smile.

"Oh that's funny hey Clarke?"

She shook her head a bit and shrugged "No, but I'm pretty sure we all knew that."

"You don't know the half of it, he fed one of the guys from farm station to a ….a … thing in the ocean. Claimed it was a necessary sacrifice. Dude is some serious crazy."

Clarke sighed "Tell me about the Artificial intelligence."

Murphy took a piece of the roasted rabbit off the makeshift spit he had built and handed it to Clarke and took a piece for himself.

"The world didn't go to hell because of wars and politics, like they told us on the Ark; it was all because of one woman. She was responsible for the bombs, no one else."

"Who? How could one woman destroy the entire world?"

"I don't know much but her name was Becca, she was a scientist and she invented this AI,….. don't know why, don't really care, …but it was this AI program that launched the war heads, not people. Jaha has this chip that if you swallow it he says it takes you to the city of light, I think it turns your brain into seaweed. But I'm certain it's AI, and somehow it interfaces with whoever swallows it. I had one of Jaha's chips in my pocket when I was bust outside of Polis."

"What does the chip have to do with you being held by Titus?"

"The big scary ass dude?"

Clarke nodded.

"Well the chip had an infinity symbol on it, like a company logo or something. Turns out that is also the symbol of the commander and it's illegal to have the symbol. So once again I am a criminal. I can't win."

"The infinity symbol?" Clarke pondered out loud and then looked at Murphy "Like the tattoo on her neck?"

"Yea that's it and it was on the AI he took out of her neck too. The Commanders must be controlled by it somehow."

"Maybe" Clarke answered "tell me more."

"Well scary dude has a lovely little room deep in the bowels of hell, and it's decorated with a bunch of antiques, including a space ship, yep a station pod. It turns out that Polis is actually Polaris….." He nods and smiles at Clarke as her eyes grow big. "Oh yea, turns out we have a common ancestry or enemy. So the story goes that a woman comes down from the sky in the pod, obviously from Polaris, the 13th station and she was the first commander or maybe started the commanders, but there are all these drawings in the cave of a woman, surrounded by 'nitboos' or something like that…."

"Nightbloods" Clarke said.

Murphy raised his eyebrows enticing her to explain.

"Nightbloods in Trikeu is Natblidas they are the ones that are raised to become commanders. So your saying this scientist from the 13th station, created the commanders?"

"Yea I think so; your buddy Lexa had black blood, nightblood maybe? There was an old case in the dungeon with syringes in it, looks like something black was in them. Whatever the black blood is it must help the AI live in the host body, the Commanders body."

They were both quiet for a while.

"Holy Shit." Clarke muttered.

She looked up at Murphy "Lexa told me that the tattoos on her back represent each Natblida that died when she was chosen as commander. She wasn't chosen by a spirit, the other natblidas bodies simply rejected the black serum or maybe rejected the AI implant.

"Ok so what so what does this have to do with us, more importantly me, what does it have to do with me.

"I don't know. But there will be a new commander chosen and it means that Arkadia is in danger. And some one should warn them."  
...............  
Thank you for reading... Please let me know what you think   
ce


	5. chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> set after s3 epi 7 "what happens after Lexa dies"............ Things in Arcadia go from bad to worse, very quickly.

" _The Ice Nation would stand to gain a lot if Lexa were to die and Skaikru were held responsible." Octavia said_

" _Even if we can prove that, it's no guarantee the coalition could hold." Abby said._

_Pike added "And why would they go to the trouble of setting up Clarke, we've seen what the Ice nation can go, how big the army is, they don't need a scapegoat to further their agenda."_

" _Wait ….. Just wait" Bellamy said "we're getting ahead of ourselves. We aren't even sure Clarke and Murphy are really dead. We only know what Octavia was told." He paused "We need to find out."…. He looked around the room …."We need to get to Polis."_

_..._

"No one is going anywhere!" Pike declared "We need every available gun here. And I don't trust either of you…" he says looking to Kane and Octavia. He points at Octavia "I know you told the grounder village we were coming and Kane I can't prove it ….yet…but I know you gave her that intel. And now they have us blockaded ready to attack."

"That's what we are trying to prevent Pike!" Kane says.

Octavia shakes her head "God Pike don't you get it! They can wipe out Arkadia anytime they want. It was Lexa's coalition and Lexa herself that kept that from happening." She turns towards Bellamy blame in her eyes "It was Clarke working with her, Clarke practically begging Lexa and the coalition to not take action against you. It was Lexa that kept the coalition from attacking and killing all of you 5 days ago! The 12 clans have more resources than you know and now that Lexa is dead and Clarke…well…. She can't plead the case of the 13th clan any more can she?" Tired she sits back down and looks around the room "the 12 clans come together when they have a common enemy and right now that's the 13th clan, that's you."

The room was silent for a moment as they processed Octavia's rant, the events of the last week, the death of the commander, the loss of Clarke and the possibility that the only thing they can do now to save the people of Arkcadia is to run.

'The 13th clan that's it!'….. Kane muttered to himself as he looked up and then stood up slowly and pulled up his sleeve revealing the Brand of the Clans "The 13th Clan! That's how we get in to Polis. We are the 13th clan."

"Marcus what are you talking about?" Abby asked.

Bellamy smiled slowly "We are the 13th clan, so we have a right to be at the conclave."

"Exactly!" Kane exclaims pointing to Bellamy. "Ambassadors of all the clans have a right to be at the commander's funeral, all the clans have a right to speak at the meeting of the clans. That's how we find out what happened to Clarke and Murphy and it's the only way we can bring their bodies' home. We need to send a request to the coalition. Octavia so you think Indra would help us with that?"

She tilted her head a bit "ahmm I think so,"

Kane nodded "We'll go anyway, even if she can't pave the way once we are at the meeting of the coalition maybe we can stop this war."

Abby stood and put her hand on Kanes arm "Marcus, no. It's too dangerous. They will kill you as soon as they see you. Even if we are the 13th clan surely they wont honor that, not now."

Pike stand up "No one is going anywhere! We have played the grounders games long enough! We can defend ourselves and Abby I'm sorry about your daughter but Clarke turned her back on her own people, she was a traitor and even if you could get her body back I wouldn't allow you to bury her here. I meant what I said if anyone tries to leave You will be arrested."

Bellamy noticeably bristled at Pike calling Clarke a traitor and not allowing her to be buried among her people. The people she defended, healed, loved and killed for and now she died for them too. He began to see that, that Clarke just did what she thought was right, for her people, our people. Even through her pain that's what she hoped for, peace for her people the original 100, our people, mine and Clarkes. He started to say something to Pike about Clarke when Octavia stood up again.

"Well I'm going" Octavia states "I need to try to contact Indra and I wouldn't fight for you anyway Pike" She turns and puts her hand on Bellamy's chest; I'll get word to you if I find out anything." She pauses and then hugs him tight and whispers in his ear "I'm sorry about Clarke, you and her were …..well…" her voice trailed off. She turns toward the council table "Abby, Kane" she says as she nods her goodbye. She looks at Pike with daggers in her eyes "I'm otta here."

"Guards!" Pike shouts "You're not going anywhere. Miller, take Miss Blake to lock up."

"Sir!" Bellamy exclaims taking a step towards Octavia and taking her arm.

"She came here willingly, to give us information. There's no need to lock her up" Bellamy has had conflicting feeling about Pike for some time now, he started thinking about all that had happened after Clarke came to see him but now it's like Bellamy is coming out of a fog, the shock of Clarkes death and now this, he's beginning to see that Pike has this all wrong. "Sir let me confine her to my quarters; I'll see to it that she doesn't leave."

Octavia jerked her arm away from Bellamy "Don't do me any favors. You and I still don't agree on anything! I'd rather be in lock up than out here with you. I knew what the risk was coming here. I did it for Abby and for Clarke." Miller had stepped up and started to put cuffs on her and Bellamy took a step back hurt by what she said.

"Take her to lock up, but put her in solitary, I don't want her with her grounder friends" he turned to the other guards "Take Kane to interrogation." The guards approached Kane and started to put cuffs on him when Abby tries to intervene "On what charges! He hasn't done anything."

"It's alright Abby, it will be fine. He can't hold me without charging me." The guards started to escort him from the room when he turns to Abby and leans down to kiss her on the cheek "I'll be alright, I have hope."

"Abby you should go back to medical" Pike said "If the grounders attack you need to be there."

Abby glared at Pike and turned toward Bellamy and whispered under her breath "Watch your back" as she walked by. Bellamy cringed at her words. He is a monster, just like he told Clarke so long ago. He has to make this right somehow.

"Bellamy" Pike walked by "Walk with me" Bellamy fell in beside pike as they walked down the hall towards the command center. "Look I know you're upset about your sister, but you and I both know it was her that alerted the village and that it was Kane that helped her. You need to make sure you stay on the right side of things. Clarke may have had good intentions but she was wrong to choose the grounders, she left Bellamy, left us to survive on our own and we have and if we have to fight to keep what we have then we will! And all the people of the Ark except a handful are with us, ready and willing to fight!"

Bellamy nodded at Pike knowing that just a week ago those words would have sent him into action, getting ready to defend what is theirs. But now he knows, it words like that that will get them all killed.

...

"I need to see the prisoner and check her wounds, to see that they don't get infected. I have a pass from Pike" Abby handed the pass to the guard who looked at it and handed it back as he opened the door to what was an old storage closet when the ARK was in space. Abby walked in and turned toward the guard "Close the door, I need privacy if I am to examine my patient" The guard waited a moment and then closed and locked the door.

Octavia sat on the edge of a cot in a small room that was not much more than the cot and small stool to sit on. "Let me look at the cuts on your face" Abby said as she pulled the stool closer to Octavia.

Octavia put her hand on Abby's arm "Abby i'm fine, you just saw me in the council room. What's this about?"

Abby looked at the pretty dark haired girl "I just need to get close so I can look at the cuts" Abby gets close and begins to apply ointment to her face and in a whisper says "I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Keep your voice down though; I'm pretty sure we are being monitored. So just let me treat your cuts, OK?"

Octavia smiles "Thank you. Have you seen my brother?" she says in a low voice.

"Not since earlier, don't be too hard on him Octavia, he's just doing what he thinks is right and if that means siding with Pike then we have to respect that." She lowered her head and her voice "But we don't have to agree with it or go along with it." She made eye contact with the girl "Were going to get you out of here as soon as we can."

"I heard Pike arrested Kane too. I he ok?"

"I don't know, he's in interrogation and I haven't been able to get in." Abby kept working on Octavia's cuts.

"When we first got here, when the dropship landed, it was so exciting" Octavia said "But it didn't take long for us to realize that we were going to have to struggle and fight just to survive. We fought thirst and hunger, we fought the elements, storms and animals, and we fought the grounders and the mountain men. But I never thought we'd be fighting each other. It's what the Earth wants, for us to weaken ourselves by fighting and then whatever is left we can be swallowed up. We can't go on fighting if we want to survive, that's what Clarke and Bellamy found out and they learned to work together, if they can anyone can, that's the only reason the 100 survived, because they made the decision to work together"

"They learned to Love each other, too" Abby said making Octavia smile and say "I don't think they knew that then."

Abby put her hand on Octavia's "You look too young to be so wise. Your face will heal and I need to go."

Abby stood up and gathered her medical supplies and headed towards the door "Wait" Octavia called as she walked over and put her arms around her neck, Abby was surprised for a moment but then returned the hug and whispered "It will be OK, everything will be fine."

Octavia released her and said "Tell Bell I didn't mean it, tell him I came back for him too. Tell Him I love him."

Abby nodded and knocked on the door for the guard.

As Abby heard the door close behind her the guard that had escorted her was waiting to take her back to medical "Hey there Adams" Miller said as he walked up "Where are you headed?"

"Just taking Dr. Griffin back to medical, how about you?"

"Oh just headed to command to start my shift, medical is on the way, I'll take the Doc if you want. Aren't you and Heather getting together tonight." He said with a big smile and a wink.

"Boy you can't keep anything secret around here" Adams said as they all started walking down the hall "But yes, if you must know we do, so yea you can escort her if you want."

"No problem" Miller said as he took Abby's arm.

"Hey don't touch me, I am not under arrest" Abby said as she jerked her arm back.

Miller put both his hands up "no you're not, but you are to be escorted anytime you leave medical, so just make the best of it."

Adams chuckled as Abby walked away with Miller following behind "Sure you don't need help"

Miller just gave him a one finger salute and caught up to Abby.

The rounded a corner and were alone in the hall. "Nice Abby now he's sure you don't like me."

She looked up at him "it beats the hell out of him knowing we are on the same side."

Miller nodded and smiled "Wait here" he said as they reached the end of the hall the corridor only going left or right. He looked down both corridors then motioned for Abby to follow, he stopped by a door and took out his keys "You have less than 5 mins, and then I will drag you out if I have too."

Abby looked puzzled as he opened the door and gave her a push, she stumbled in the room and into Kane's arms.

"Marcus" Abby exclaimed and threw her arms around his neck pulling him into a tight embrace.

"I should get arrested more often" He said into her neck as he filled his senses with her. She felt so warm, he had never really held her like this before, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it. This and more, so much more.

"That's not funny Marcus" Abby said as she pushed herself away, Kane held on to her arms, knowing that they time together was brief.

"Sorry Abby. But I wanted to see you, once Pike comes in I don't know what will happen, but we, that is me and you… I wanted to tell you…."

"What Marcus, tell me what?"

He leaned down his face close to hers as she stepped as high as she could on her toes "That I'm sorry….I wanted to say I'm sorry."

He rested his chin on the top of her head "I'm sorry I was such an ass on the ARK" he felt her smile against his chest. "I'm sorry we fought so much and that I never told you how much your friendship means to me but mostly I'm sorry I waited so long to hold you like this."

Abby tilted her head back as Kane leaned in and let his lips briefly touch hers, testing, tasting. Abby gently kissed him back, happy with her response Kane pulled her tighter and deepened their embrace and their kiss. Abby felt completely cocooned in his arms, not sure where she stopped and he began and for just that brief moment their troubles faded.

Kane took a deep breath and looked into her eyes "If anything happens…." He began but Abby put her fingers against his lips and shook her head no "No don't say it, we will find a way to fix this, to make this right, the others are already thinking of ways to get you out. I promise we'll find a way."

Miller knocked on the door and entered "we have to go…Now" he reached for Abby and pulled her towards the door leaving Kane standing in the middle of the room "Don't give up on Bellamy" He called out to them "either of you" Abby and Nate looked back "I saw something today, that looked a lot like the Bellamy we know. Don't give up on him."

Miller pulled Abby out, locked the door and they ran down the corridor as Pike, Bellamy and a few guards were just turning the corner. 

"Well Bellamy, let's see what Kane has to say for himself." Is all that Miller and Abby heard as they headed out of sight.

............

 

ce


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after S3 epi7 "what happens after Lexa dies".... Clarke and Murphy grow closer, turns out Murphy isnt all that bad after all.... No Murphy and Clarke hook up here. Straight up Bellarke,,,,eventually. In regards to the events in the story please know that I wrote this last Spring and it was originally posted on ff.com. I started it before ep8 aired and finished it before epi 10 or 11. In case you're wondering about the chain of events.   
> ce

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She sat just outside the shelter, leaning comfortably against a big oak tree watching the stars come out, one by one they grow brighter as the sky grows darker and the night wears on.

They had been here for a few days, taking shelter in this old and abandoned building that sat on the top of a mountain with a view of the valley below. They had been lying low, using some of the places she found after Mt Weather when she couldn't return to the ark, caves mostly and the occasional shelter such as this.

She was finally able to travel after almost 2 weeks of resting her ribs, so they kept on the move. She wasn't really sure when it happened, but somehow in that time she had gotten to depend on Murphy,  _'she never wanted that'_  she thought to herself as she looked back into the shelter to see him sleeping. She smiled to herself ' _if you had told me a year ago that my life would depend on John Murphy, I would have laughed in your face'…_

_***"come on Clarke wake up" Murphy shook her shoulder "Come on Clark."_

_Clarke suddenly bolted upright letting out a cry, her eyes wide open with tears flowing down her cheeks and her breathing ragged "No No Bellamy, Please…." Clarke grabbed Murphy by the front of his shirt and pulled him close "Whoa princess, it's me, let go girl" Murphy said taking hold of her hands as gently as he could trying to untangling them from his shirt._

_Clarke's breathing began to stabilize as she realized who was in front of her "Oh god murphy I'm sorry" She said as she let go and fell back against the furs she had been resting on only to let out a cry of pain._

_Murphy shook his head "Damnit" he muttered "Let me see."_

_She shook her head and put her hands out "No, its fine. I'm fine."_

" _Like hell" he said putting his knee on her right hand and holding her left hand as she reached up to grab at him. He lifted her shirt "Shit!" he exclaimed as his face turned grim and looked at her "I'm not the doctor here but even I can tell they're broken" he rolled her gently on her left side to get a closer look._

_The bruising was extensive; it ran from the bottom ribs, in the front all the way to the back. "You need a doctor, Clarke, not me. You've been binding them since we got here two days ago and I think it's gotten worse. You can hardly breathe and you don't move without screaming ...and you know I don't do well with people screaming in pain." Murphy walked over to the water bucket and got her a cup and held it to her mouth, she sipped it quietly._

" _Tell me what to do Clarke. You're not dying on me here, I have enough blood on my hands and besides Bellamy will have my head on a spike if I let you die."_

_Clarke lay back on the furs her breath shallow "Pretty sure he wouldn't" she groaned a bit "might even give you a medal" she tried to smile and sighed "And you're right I need help" she grimaced as she tried to find a comfortable position "But You're not going to like it"_

**~~~~~**

" _Seriously, this is your brilliant idea"_

_They came to edge of a dark forest and rested just inside the tree line, out of sight for the moment, the sun was beginning to set and there were still a few people walking in the village ahead._

" _It's my only idea, and you don't have to come any farther I can make it the rest of the way on my own."_

_Murphy looked at her smirking in disbelief and let go of her arm "Go for it….. go ahead."_

_Clarke took about two steps before stumbling and groaning as she fell into Murphy's arms and she looked up "sorry…Ok I need your help, is that what you want to hear, that I Clarke Griffin need John Murphy's help!"_

_Murphy nodded "yea…yea I like that The Princess of the 100 needs the assistance of a criminal master mind …." He helped her walk to the outskirts of a village "…..that's me a criminal mastermind, yep and the criminal is returning to the scene of the crime." He looked down at Clarke "Seriously though….. he lives here, in the village that Finn shot up? Tell me we didn't kill anyone he knows."_

" _You didn't kill anyone Murphy as I recall you tried to stop Finn" she walk slowly, each step growing more difficult "There the house on the end, stay close to the trees, pull my hood up and if you keep that hat on maybe no one will recognize you. Just knock and make sure he's alone."_

_Murphy helped her to the house and left her leaning near the door and knocked, it took a moment but the door finally opened and Murphy quickly looked down, recognizing one of the men Finn terrorized "ai laik a fisa. chit do yu need?" the man said in Trigedasleng._

_Murphy cleared his throat "Sorry I don't speak your language very well but I have friend in need of your healing" Murphy looked up and saw the look on the man's face turning from surprise to stricken and very quickly to anger "Please we didn't have any other choice but to come here" he nodded towards Clarke "she needs you."_

_Clarke was growing weaker each moment "Please Nyko, help me."_

_Nyko looked around outside and quickly pulled them inside and helped her to the cot just inside the door "Clarke, you are reported dead, both of you" he said looking between her and Murphy "What has happened?"_

" _I have some broken ribs, I need a healer ...and we're not dead."_

**~~~~**

" _I am sorry I can't help you any more Clarke kom Skaikru, but you cannot stay here" Nyko said a few hours after their arrival "The sun will be up soon and you must go before the village awakens."_

" _You have done more than I had hoped, Thank you" Clarke said as she moved slowly towards the door. "I just need the medicine and we will go."_

_Nyko turns toward Murphy and hands him a pouch, "She must drink this tea several times a day….."_

"… _.got it, several times a day…." Murphy says._

_Clarke looked at the two of them and frowned._

" _And here is the poultice that will help with the swelling and the bruising. It can be used often; she will need help applying it. It does not smell good but It will help! Make her use it….."_

"  _I'll do my best but ya know she's pretty stubborn."_

_Clarke raised her eyebrows and sighed in frustration "you both know I'm, standing right here."_

"… _..and she must be still and quiet for a few days….."_

"… _..remember that binding the ribs is not as important as keeping the breath clear, so she must be as pain free as possible. I do not know your relationship to Clarke, Murphy Kom Skaikru, but she shouldn't be left alone….."_

" _Damnit I'm fine, I'm a doctor too" Clarke uttered impatiently feeling like they were talking about a child. "I don't need a babysitter."_

_Nyko looked back to Clarke "you are wrong and what is worse you know it, am I saying anything you wouldn't tell a patient of yours?"_

_Clarke looked a little pained and slightly cornered but didn't answer._

" _See….stubborn."_

" _Shut up Murphy" Clarke said "Yes Nyko, you're right…. You're right. I need someone with me in case my breathing gets worse."_

_Nyko turned back to Murphy "a week to ten days should be adequate for her to heal, it will still be painful but she will be out of danger by then."_

_Clarke pulled the cloak around her and pulled up the hood as Nyko opened the door and looked around, darkness and silence surrounded the village, its inhabitants long since having retired to their homes. Clarke walked out but turned back "Thank you for all your help."_

_Nyko nodded "I am a healer, I turn no one away… and rest easy I will keep silent"_

_As Murphy walked out the door the healer whispered "stay with her and take care. Death will follow if they find you."_

_Murphy nodded solemnly; suddenly aware that for the first time in his life he was responsible for another person, another human being._

**~~~**

" _Clarke I don't think you're going to make it back to the cave by the river." Murphy said doing his best to help Clarke walk, he had offered to carry her but she adamantly against it._

" _I know, but I have a better place only a few miles from here. It's well hidden and we can stay there for as long as we need."_

_It took time to get there but they made their way to the cave opening, it was covered in small trees and bushes Murphy went in first and motioned for Clarke to follow when he saw that the way was clear._

_He looked around as Clarke made her way to the makeshift bed covered in furs._

" _What is this place?" Murphy asked "It looks like someone lives here."  
Clarke lay back on the bed "Do you know Lincoln, Octavia's friend?" Murphy nodded "This is his home."_

**~~~**

_Her nightmares were always the same, Bellamy….always Bellamy. Sometimes he was running from the 381 people who died on MT Weather and they were always silent…..Sometimes it was Bellamy burning outside the dropship as she closed the door, his screams were always deafening….. Sometimes it was Bellamy's words, his condemnation of her actions, reminding her that people always died when she was in charge, his words were always crushing… And sometimes it was Bellamy, reaching out to take her in his arms giving her forgiveness and begging her to come inside. His face so filled with compassion, Love and sadness, it was always heart breaking. More and more her nightmares were less about the actually deaths, less about Lexa, less about the blood on her hands and more about the ones she left behind. Tonight Bellamy was leading what was left of our family, Raven, Jasper, Monty, Miller and those from the drop ship that were still alive to a funeral, to the cemetery they created outside the gates of the drop ship. They each stood silently around the hole dug deep into the ground and began to throw handfuls of dirt in, she couldn't see who had died, she couldn't get close enough, she tried to pushing her way through and she tried asking each of them, but they didn't answer, they couldn't hear her. It didn't take long for her to begin to feel weight on her chest, more and more weight, heavier and heavier, this pressing weight on her chest making it very hard to breathe and when she realized she couldn't move she tried to call up to them, they were standing over her but they just looked down without saying anything. She managed to get one hand free and tried moving the weight on her chest and found that the weight was dirt, the dirt they had been throwing into the grave…her grave…..they were burying her._

_Once again_ Clarke  _woke up to find Murphy holding her, keeping her from flailing around too much, trying to protect her. It was like this most nights, whether it was the tea Nyko had given her or the pain itself didn't matter, the dreams would come anyway._

_Clark accepted the cup of water Murphy brought her "Why are you here Murphy?"_

" _Annnnnd you're welcome" Murphy muttered sarcastically._

" _I didn't mean it like that" Clark sat up and leaned against the cave wall "I meant why are you taking care of me. Why are you here with me? After everything I did, I almost got you hung and I did get you banished."_

" _We all make mistakes Clarke, I'm pretty sure I gave you reason, more than one, to think I was worth hanging."_

_Clarke just looked at him waiting for an answer to her original question, but Murphy didn't really know so when he didn't have an answer he did the only thing that made sense, ask a question._

" _When are you going to tell me about your nightmares?"_

_Maybe she should tell him, maybe if he knew he would go, leave her and go make a life for himself. Because if Bellamy was right, then just being around her was putting Murphy's life in danger,_

" _Do you remember Mt Weather?"_

" _Yea, I left with Jaha before anyone was rescued. But I heard some stories, Emori and I heard that the Mountain men had all been killed that someone named Wanda or Wanhanda, killed them all, wiped out the mountain in one blow."_

_Clarke lowered her head._

_The silence in the cave as deafening "You?" Murphy asked when the silence got to be too much for even him._

_Clarke nodded "Yes, and the name is Wanheda….Commander of death."_

" _Well, the name is pretty badass you know."_

" _All I know is she is dead now and that's a good thing" she said standing up._

" _So tell me, how did you kill an entire mountain of people….in just one blow"_

" _We opened a window and let fresh air in."_

_Clarke began to walk around the small cave "the mountain people didn't have resistance to the radiation in the atmosphere, the way we do or the way the grounders do. They were using the grounders blood as treatment for radiation sickness"_

" _Treatment…how?"_

" _They captured grounders, over the years it must have been hundreds or even thousands, and they drained their blood, when their bodies could no longer supply them with the blood they needed they gave the shell of a body to the reapers. After the attack on the drop ship, after I burned the grounder army, the mountain captured us, those of us left anyway and took us to Mt Weather, and they discovered that our blood and our bone marrow was more than just a treatment but a cure. If they used our bone marrow they could leave the mountain and live on the ground. They had already killed several of our people before we could get them out. Bellamy risked his life going in there, Lexa was supposed to help us, we had a plan…"_

_Murphy watched her as her pacing became more agitated and her voice wavered between deep sorrow and blind anger… "But she betrayed us, me, and she left them all to die All of them, Bellamy and all the kids, our kids…" She turned towards Murphy her eyes burning with the anguish of all she had seen and done. "…..There were people in the mountain that helped Bellamy, helped him keep the kids safe till we could get there, but we didn't have a choice Murphy…" openly sobbing now "…we didn't have a choice but to pull the lever and irradiate the entire mountain. We killed them all, even those that help Bellamy"_

_Murphy watched and listened he let her cry and rant until she had told her whole story._

" _I couldn't go back, I couldn't look at them and see them every day knowing what I'd done…"_

_But he finally spoke "You said 'what you'd done' but when you were telling me what happened you kept saying what we'd done."_

_Clarke stopped pacing and looked at Murphy "Bellamy helped me pull the lever, we did it together…. We did it together... I know that. I really do, but I would have pulled that lever even if Bellamy hadn't helped, but he hesitated, he thought about the ones that helped him, I didn't. And now I have to live with it, all of it, all the horrible things I've done I have to live with that and I now I can't go back, not after I left him. I left Bellamy to deal with his demons. I didn't realize he was suffering too, I only saw myself and now he thinks I'm a monster."_

_Murphy guided her to the corner where the furs where and helped her to sit down "We all have shit we have to live with…or not live with…..it's a choice…and it sucks. I shot Raven, I tried to hang Bellamy, I held a knife to your throat…" He paused and looked at Clarke "…. Charlotte." Murphy sighed._

_Clarke wiped her eyes "Isn't this where you're supposed to tell me I did the right thing, that's what everyone else says."_

" _I don't know if you did the right things, but if you can't live with the choices then they weren't the right ones for you. Maybe the kids from the drop ship weren't worth the 300+ deaths it took the save them."_

C _larke's eyes got big and she sat up_  " _No, of course they're are worth it. They're my people!  Our people! But I just couldn't take them acting like I did something heroic or honorable. It's not heroic what I did."_

" _Maybe not, but I doubt the Kids would see you as a hero anyway, some might, but most wouldn't, we all stopped having hero's when they locked us up. And we stopped dreaming of happily ever after when they sent us here to die."_

_They sat on the ground like that, side by side for a long time until Clarke asked one more time "Why are you here Murphy?"_

" _Cause, I think my **'Strisis** ' needed me."_

_Clarke lips turned up, a tiny smile "little sister? Thank you Murphy, so far you're the best ' **Biga bro** ' I've ever had."_

_Murphy smirked "You ever tell anyone that I've been nice to you and I'll deny it."_

" _Your secret is safe with me."_

" _And Clarke….."_

" _Yea?"_

" _Bellamy may be a complete ass most of the time, but he doesn't hate you or think you're a monster ... I think he's always Loved you."_

Clarke looked back in the shelter, Murphy was still sleeping, and as she looked out over the valley in the direction of Arkadia she wondered about Bellamy, all of them really. Could they forgive her, for everything but mostly for leaving? And could she go back? ( _Could she go back to him?_ )

She was finally feeling stronger...in a lot of ways and now it was time to give some thought to what she should do next. She had to decide if she had any fight left in her. Or was it best for everyone if she just disappeared, head west towards the big river. As far as Trikru and Skaikru were concerned she was dead. It was an easy out for her. Just walk away. But this time there'd be no turning back. ( _Would he miss her?_ )

But she knew her people were living on borrowed time, could she leave them again, could she continue to run? ( _She told him once, You can't run away)_

The conclave was in a few days, Lexa had been lying in state for almost a month, it was tradition for there to be a mourning period of 30 days and then on the final day all 12 clans would come together for the spirit of the passing commander to choose the next leader.  _'12 Clans'_ …..Clarke thought she wondered if Skaikru still thought of themselves as the 13 clan. ( _Would he accept being part of the coalition?)_

No matter where her thoughts went they always came back to him, whether she stayed and faced her demons or whether she remained dead, the question would always be ' _could he forgive her_ '.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .....So much going on in this chapter!! We have a rebellion (you saw that coming though) and a prison breakout, and a good guy gone bad and an unexpected twist ..... and a man with horses.' Nough said.

“Excuse me sir” David Miller says walking into the command center “There’s a crowd gathering outside, they’re demanding to speak to you and they don’t look like a happy bunch.”

Pike nods at Miller “Let them know I’m on my way.” He turns back to the tactical board that he and Bellamy are working on “The life of a chancellor.” Pike says to Bellamy as Miller leaves.

“Let me go sir, I can get the crowd to disburse” Bellamy cocks his head “I’ll arrest a few that should quiet them down.”

“No….. no, I’ll go talk to them. I have neglected one of the primary duties of being Chancellor, pacifying the people who got me the job. I’m sure they’re just nervous about the blockade and the food rationing we started last week.”

Bellamy just nodded “Certainly Sir, whatever you say.” He turned back towards the tact board that mapped out the ARK and the known positions of the grounder blockade as Pike started to exit the room.

He turned back towards Bellamy “You should come too Bellamy, they need to see you standing with me; they need to learn to respect your new position as my second in command.” Pike turned and Bellamy fixed his eyes on the back of his commanding officer as Pike headed out. Bellamy stretched his back and move his neck side to side until it popped, his face was a blank slate, normally everything you wanted to know about Bellamy Blake was written on his face, but not anymore he had gotten quite good at masking his expressions, he grabbed his Guard jacket off the back of a chair and followed Pike out the door.

**~~~~~**

Octavia looked up as she heard the door to her cell open expecting to see Nathan or Will or one of the other guards assigned to her. Pike had kept her locked up for weeks now; the only people she saw were her guards and Abby and she hadn’t really seen Abby that much lately. Jasper tried to see her once but didn’t get very far, he was pretty drunk and Nathan managed to get him back to his quarters. Raven sent her a book to read but other than that she hadn’t had contact with anyone. In fact she’d only seen Bellamy once and that was when she was first arrested. But she hadn’t seen any one at all in almost a week and she was getting worried, even the guards that brought her food didn’t talk much.

But as her door opened today she was surprised to see Abby walk in carrying her box of medical supplies.

“Hi sweetie, how are you doing?” Abby asked as she pulled the lone chair next to Octavia’s bed and leaned in “Are you feeling OK? Do you need anything?” Abby nodded towards the door letting Octavia know that someone might be listening.

“I’m fine Abby, bored mostly, I have been getting headaches” she added.

“Oh well let me check a few things while I’m here” Abby took her stethoscope and put it to her back and listened to her breathing “Deep breath please.”

Then carefully pulled her shirt opened and put the scope inside her shirt and Octavia gasped a little and she looked at Abby with wide eyes “Oh sorry you know these things get cold.”

Abby took her pulse and looked into her eyes and after a few more minutes she concluded her exam “I think the headaches might be due to limited physical activity, I’ll see if I can convince Pike to let you out for an hour a day.”

“Good luck with that” Octavia said “I can’t get him to talk to me. He needs to sentence me to death or cut me loose!” She yelled in the direction of the door, and then smiled at Abby. “How’s Kane?” Octavia asked. Abby’s face fell and she sighed “I don’t know, they won’t let me in detention. If a prisoner needs something Jackson is the only one allowed in there now. But I’m sure he’s fine…. I hope he’s fine. I heard he’s in with Lincoln so at least he’s not alone.”

Octavia rolled her eyes “yea this sucks.”  Octavia paused “Have you seen Bellamy at all?” she asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer.

Octavia’s eyes held a sadness when it came to her brother, sadness and anger, resentment and distrust, but hidden inside was the love of a little sister for her big brother.

Abby shook her head “I’m sorry no, I spend most of my time in Medical and he spends his with Pike.” Abby briefly considered not saying anything else about Bellamy, but if this was going to work then Octavia need the truth, she needed to be able to make a clean break. “but…… well…. Bellamy is now Pikes second. He replaced Hannah Green last week.”

Octaiva didn’t say anything, the anger clearly showing in her eyes “What the hell is wrong with him!” she said through clenched teeth.

“I don’t know” Abby replied “but it’s gotten worse since Clarke di…..Since we heard about Lexa.”

Octavia threw her arms around Abby, “I’m sorry Abby, we all miss her but I thought Bellamy would have changed his mind after finding out she might have died.”

Abby smiled at her young patient “it’s ok, people process grief differently. I don’t think either one of them ever got over what happened at Mt Weather, and I know Bellamy was lost without her here. So don’t be too hard on him.”

Octavia sat back down on the cot looking particularly weary.

“I’ll see if I can get you something to read and if Pike will at least let you out for a little exercise” Abby said as she gathered up her medical supplies.

“I should go before the guard drags me out.” Abby discreetly pointed to the front of Octavia’s shirt you “I will see you soon.” Abby knocked on the door and the guard let her out. Octavia watched the door close and heard the guard turn the lock, she hated that sound.

But today she didn’t mind as much. As soon as she heard the lock she laid back on the cot and turning her body away from the door she reached into her shirt and pulled out the small note Abby had put there……

**~~~~~**

Pike and Bellamy walked out of the command center into the yard in front of the ARK. The yard wasn’t big but it was big enough to hold assemblies of all kinds. Jaha spent most mornings out here trying to convince people to follow him to the city of light. There had been 2 weddings here in as many months and this was where the leaders of the ARK addressed their people.

The group that assembled was large, as Miller said and there was a buzz of conversation coming from the crowd that felt like a swarm of bees.

“Seems like most of the ARK is here” Pike says to Bellamy as they walked to the platform. As they step up the crowd began to converge on them and started to talk all at once …

‘who decides what is rationed?’ ……..  ‘What is being done about the blockade?’  
‘Where is Hannah Green?’  ……….  ‘What are you doing about the grounders?’

Pike holds up his hands to quiet the crowd “Folks, I promise to answer all your questions, but I can’t if you’re all asking at once. Let me say a few things first, I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping you as informed the last few days….” Pike smiled at the citizens of the ARK as he talked and they began to quiet down, a few even smiled back. Bellamy kept a stern look on his face as he thought ‘ _Damn but he’s good’._

“I’ll start with Hannah Green; many of you know she was my second in command even before we joined the ARK. But in her life on the ARK, she was a botanist and her knowledge is extremely valuable under our current conditions. She is overseeing the construction of our green house and helping to set up our gardens so we can ride out this situation with the grounders, but also so we can grow our community. Now what other questions so you have?” Pike asked and again the voices all spoke at once, each getting louder than the other so they could be heard. Again Pike put his hands up “Please let’s have some order here, if you all speak at once I can’t answer you.”

“Won’t answer, you mean” shouted a voice from the back …”What the hell happened to Kane. Did the traitor get floated yet?” yelled another “He wasn’t a traitor” another person bellowed.

Pike turned to Bellamy “Make sure this doesn’t get out of hand.” Pike went back to answering questions and Bellamy motioned one of the guards over “I want more guards around the compound, place some in the crowd and around the perimeter.” Bates, the guard nodded and said “I’ll take care of it but we’re a bit short handed.”

“That’s ok, pull them from wherever you need to and I’ll talk to Miller……Go”

“Yes sir!” Bates headed over to the guard house and Bellamy motioned David Miller over. He was the head of the guard unit “Bates says we’re shorthanded…why?”

Miller shrugged “Got a few in medical and we have extra on detention duty.”

“Well get a few of them out here” Bellamy spoke low and through his teeth “I want this crowd contained!”

“Yes sir, I’m on it” Miller went back into the ARK and Bellamy continued to stand by Pike.

The crowd didn’t seem happy with Pikes answers and are getting more and more agitated. Bellamy leans into Pike’s side “I’m going to personally oversee crowd control and Sir I think you need to wrap this up soon. I’ll see you inside.”

Pike turns back to the waiting crowd and Bellamy heads inside.

**~~~~~**

David Miller marched into the detention area where two guards are standing outside the doors. “Pitts and Williams Bellamy wants you out front for crowd control. They are getting a bit unruly…but just crowd control no firearms.”

“So the crowd is too much for Pike to handle Miller?”

“Shut up Kane!” Miller shouts back, and then turns back to the guards who hesitated after Kane’s outburst “Go I’ll stand watch.”

Miller watches as they walk down the corridor and turn a corner. Then he turns and unlocks the door “You know what to do” he says to Kane as he and Lincoln and the other grounders move out of the cell. Kane pulls him into a bear hug “Are you sure about this?” Miller nods “Yes, get the hell outta here” Kane pauses “Thank you my friend.” And then punches Miller hard enough to knock him out and leave him lying on the floor.

**~~~~~**

Kane, Lincoln and the grounders make their way out of the rear of the detention area, shouts and  loud voices can be heard from the yard in front of the ARK as the crowd begins to riot. The band of escapees makes their way to Ravens Gate. As they come around the back of the ARK station Lincoln stops “Octavia” he whispers and runs to sweep her into his arms. She, along with Harper and Monty are waiting with Nathan Miller “Oh my god” Octavia whispers into Lincoln’s neck.

Kane puts a hand on Lincolns shoulder, “Sorry but don’t have much time” he nodded to Monty who looked at his watch “about 60 seconds then the power goes off on the fence for about 30 seconds.”

“Ok so keep your eyes open. So you two have your stories straight?” Monty shakes his head yes but Miller just stands there “I’m going with you.”

“Nathan that wasn’t the plan” Kane says.

“Yea well it’s changed. Bryan knows….. About me working with you and I think he told Bellamy. I found a bug in my jacket two weeks ago and I’ve done my best not to let them know I found it, but I’m sure they heard enough. If they know about me then they know about Harper too. She cant stay.”

Octavia stepped forward “Bell wouldn’t do that. I know he’s kind of gone off the deep end and made some bad decisions but he wouldn’t spy on you, not you.”

“Yea well ‘O’ you’ve been in locked up for three weeks and not really around much before that, he’s Pike second in command now.”

“Kane, if I stay there is a possibility they will think I’m the one who planned this.” He shrugged “So let them think I did it and that Harper helped, Monty and Dad can still say they didn’t know who attacked them, but with us missing it’s less pressure on them.” Miller paused “And if I stay Bryan may be the one who comes up missing. That or Bellamy…… Sorry ‘O’”

Octavia’s face fell, her disappointment in her brother showing on her face.

“Ok you’re both coming” Kane said “Monty, we have to make this look good. Lincoln’s going to put a knife to your throat and give you a superficial wound and then knock you unconscious, and you’re simply not going to know who it was, correct?”

Monty looked at Lincoln who just smiled “You don’t have to look happy about it dude.”

“Ok its time” Kane tossed a hand full of dirt on the fence and nothing happened he motioned for everyone to start moving through. Lincoln walked over to Monty “Sorry about this.” He quickly punched Monty knocking him unconscious and before he fell to the ground Lincoln carefully cut his throat.

After everyone was through and headed for the tree line Kane turned to Miller “Thanks for getting Raven on board and turning off the power to the fence.”

Miller turned to Kane “Raven’s been acting to weird lately, hanging out with Jaha….. it wasn’t Raven.”

Kane looked sideways at Miller “Then who?” he asked

~~~~~

The door to the engineering section that housed the power supply opened slowly and a figured walked out into the shadows, he looked down the corridor in both directions and then slowly walked away, staggering a little, just in case someone sees him and wonders what he doing in engineering, they will just think he’s drunk, and lost. Jasper smiles, a genuine smile for the first time in months, and thinks _‘being the village drunk has it uses and it’s good to be useful again._ ’ Jasper pushes open the door to the mess hall and hollers “I need a drink”.

**~~~~~**

 

Kane’s group quickly made its way to the tree line behind Arkadia, when they were out of site they waited and watch to see if anyone was following them.

“Kane, what’s the plan now” Miller asks.

Kane turns and address the group “We are meeting someone soon with supplies and weapons, then we hope that Lincoln and the other grounders from detention will act as emissaries to get us through the blockade or at least let us slip through undetected. Then we head to Polis and hope we get there before the conclave.”

“Who are we waiting on?” Octavia asks.

“Me” a voice says as a man emerges from the trees, leading several horses.

“What the hell!” Miller shouts as he raises his weapon and Lincoln and Octavia both draw their swords.

“I’m going to shoot you where you stand” Miller growls.

“And I’d probably deserve it, but you should hear what I have to say first.”

Miller relaxes his hold on his weapon but doesn’t lower it “Bellamy! What the Fuck is going on?”

**~~~~~**

**That’s right the King is back! Long live the King…….. Now to help him find his Princess….Dont ya just love them! So let me know what ya think!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another busy chapter .. Lets see we have Clarke and Murphy making the decision to move on..... but then!!! They find Bellamy.....

 

“Come on Clarke wake up” Murphy poked her with his foot as she lay under the furs at the back of the cave that had been home for almost a week.

Clarke groaned and pulled the covers up to her chin and rolled towards the cave wall.

“Come on you wanted to wake up early not me.”

She grumbled something incoherent as she peeked over the blankets toward the opening “it’s barely day light” she said.

“You’re the one who wanted to go hunt and then head out. I’m all for staying a few more days” Murphy picked up his pack and tossed Clarkes pack on top of her with a thump. “Get up woman I’m hungry.” Murphy began putting things in his pack and continued talking as he moved around the cave “you know, I read an old book back on the ark about how the women used to do all the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the men in their lives so I was thinking……” he never finished his sentence as Clarkes pack found its way to the back of his head, with a thump. Murphy rubs his head and turns to see Clarke sitting up “I thought that’d get you up.” He smirked.

“Fine, I’m up” she said as she crawled out form the furs and went to stand by the entrance “what’d ya think Murf, West?” she said stretching and rubbing her eyes.

“Don’t matter ta me, but defiantly not north; everything I hear about Azgeda is unpleasant and you know it’s cold there.” Murphy stands with her looking out at the valley, surrounded by mountains, he looks at her out of the corner of his eye and watchers her as she looks with sadness and longing at the pass a few miles East that leads to Polis, TonDC and Arkadia.

“You’ve been sleeping better that past few days. Not as many nightmares.” Murphy said patting her shoulder. “I think that’s a good sign, don’t you.”

Clarke nodded and knew he was right, the nightmares had become less frequent but the dreams were still there, every night and they were intense, overwhelming and most mornings she didn’t want to awaken from them. They were almost all about him. A few were clear and seemed so real as if they were really together; she swore she could still smell his essence on her skin in the mornings. But most were a collage of dark eyes, curly hair, freckles and a grin that set her heart on fire. Those nights were the hardest, because those nights she wanted to run home and for her Bellamy was home. But she knew she had burned that bridge, and that chasm was too wide and deep to ever cross. At least alone.

“You don’t have to come you know that, right?” Clarke looked up at him “I’m all healed up now, so if you want to head east and look for Emori I’d understand.”

Murphy shrugged “I’m sure she heard about the commander and she has probably figured out that I am the unnamed male that Titus killed along with Wanheda, so I’m sure she has moved on.” He dropped his arm over her shoulder “And anyway you couldn’t survive without.”

Clarke looked up at him and rolled her eyes “Ok maybe you’d survive, but you’d be bored.”

Clarke chuckled and pushed his arm off “Let’s just get going.”

Clarke and Murphy both had their reasons for leaving but both wished they could stay.

They had heard many things from the villagers and the people in the trading posts about the Commanders death. Murphy could easily go incognito in the villages or even at the trading posts for supplies so he was able to pick up all kinds of information. Clarke couldn’t risk being seen so she stayed close to whatever cave or shelter they were using. He had heard that he and Clarke were both dead and that Skaikru was still surrounded by the Trikru army and that Azgeda had been threatening retaliation against SkaiKru until there was proof that Clarke was dead. It wasn’t long after that they heard that Titus had put the head of Wanheda on a stake in front if the capitol building.

“West it is.” She said as she made her way in and started packing “But first we need to go a little north just up to Niylah’s place and pick up supplies. Don’t worry I won’t cramp your style.” She elbowed him as she moved past him.

“Oh don’t worry you can’t cramp my style and I’m a guy so I have nothing against the ménage a trois action, but I’ll admit I probably couldn’t compete one on one with Wenheda, I saw the way she looked at you.”

“Shut up Murphy.” Clarke smiled as she filled her pack getting ready to spend the day hunting before moving on. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The sun was starting to set by the time they reached Niylah’s post, they stayed in the tree line making sure that all was clear before Murphy made his way to the door and walked in. It was a few minutes later when he came out and motioned for Clarke to come in.

“She’s not here.” Murphy said as Clarke entered the building “Somethings wrong.”

“Did you look in her quarters” Clarke asked as she looked through the door into the back.

Frowning Murphy nodded “I’m going to look out back” and headed towards the door just as it opened.

Not expecting anyone to be there Niylah was startled by their presence and pulled her knife.

“Oh Jok!” She exclaims and then runs to them putting her hand on Murphys arm “I cannot believe you are here I was praying to the gods you would show up.” She pulls him towards the back room “Quick hurry.”

She leads them through the living quarters, out the back door to into a shed. She lights a candle and Clarke Gasps.

“Bellamy!”

~~~~~~~~~

Lying on a makeshift bed is the man who haunts her dreams and that she thought she would never see again. Clarke looks at Niylah as Murphy’s kneels down looking for signs of life in his former boss, his adversary, his sworn enemy and he sighed….. his friend.

“I found him last evening about half a mile south, he was unconscious when I found him, an arrow through his chest and a bad head wound. I recognized him Clarke; he came looking for you after you had been taken by Roan. This is your man isn’t he? The one you’ve told be about?”

Clarke nodded and she knelt beside him as Murphy moved away and pulled back the blankets and looked at the arrow still in his chest. “I am not a healer Clarke, not like you, I was hoping my father would be back today and be able to help him. Tell me what do you need?"

Clark, with the help of Murphy, spent the next several hours working to repair the damage done to Bellamy’s upper chest. The arrow hit just below the collar bone, breaking some of the upper ribs and possibly hitting the lung, but it missed the heart and so far his breathing was stable, so most likely the lung would heal. She spent most of the time digging out the bone fragments and except for a few moans Bellamy never woke up. She knew the chest wound would heal with time, it was the head wound that worried her the most. He was still unconscious.

She washed the blood from her hands and using a damp cloth she began to clean him up. She washed the blood from his hands, and then washed his arms, his chest and neck. She was tender in a way she had never been with anyone else. When she was done and she had cleaned all the blood away and covered him in warm furs, only then did she let the tears fall.

Time seemed to stand still until she felt a hand on her shoulder; she looked up and smiled weakly at Murphy, who held out a cup of water.

“You should get some rest Clarke; you’ve done all you can, all we can do is wait.”

Clarke drank the water and put her hand on top of Murphy’s, she took a deep breath “I think I’ll get some air, I won’t be long.”

She stood up and moved to leave as Murphy sat in the chair “Thank you, Murphy”

He nodded.

Clarke went back to the shed an hour or so later and found Murphy still there but sleeping, she had cried herself to sleep wrapped in her friend’s Niylah’s arms. She shook his shoulder gently “Murf, Murf wake up it’s late, you go in, Niylah is still sleeping, join her. I’ll sit with him.”

Murphy rubbed his eyes and stood up “He’ll be fine Clarke, he’s too stubborn to die.” He patted her shoulder and walked out.

Clarke sat down next to her partner, co-leader, friend and the owner of her heart and reached her hand out to gently touch his cheek and she softly push the hair from his brow as a single tear fell leaving a trail on her cheek. She looked at his face and heard him, all the things he’d said, and all the times he was right there at her side. All the times he didn’t take her shit. All of it, all at once in her head, his voice…….

 ** _Going for a walk Princess_** ‘I need to hear you call me Princess again’

 ** _Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things_.** ‘I understand now’

 ** _If I'm going to take orders from you, I need a better reason_** _._ ‘ I’ve lost you haven’t I’

 ** _If you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you. You're forgiven_.** ‘Can you still forgive me?’

 ** _You left me. You left everyone_**. ‘I’m so sorry’  
**_All I've done so far is not get killed_**.  ‘Keep doing that’

 ** _Please come inside_** ‘please wake up’

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*She sobs* ……I Hate it when my muse makes me cry! Let me know what you think……Chap 9 Coming Soon.. Bellamy and raw emotion….does it get any better than that! Yea I don’t think so either!

Namaste!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did Bellamy end up at the trading post? Shot with an arrow and near death......in this chapter we find out!

Instead of riding they walked their horses for several hours and in doing so they managed to avoid the Grounder Army, their scouts and trackers. Kane would forever be grateful to Lincoln and the other Grounders that had been 'detained' by Pike, because without their knowledge of the area and Grounder Tactics they never would have made it around the blockade. While stealth was the main reason for walking instead of riding, another reason was there were only four horses and thirteen potential riders.

Marcus Kane, was one, he has come so far from the man on the Ark who felt deeply responsible for so many deaths to the man now trying to ensure that the bloodshed stops, and Lincoln, the grounder warrior with a soul of an artist, who loves a Skaikru girl so much he would do anything to share his life with her. Nathan Miller, former criminal, a boy sent to certain death but on the ground he learned that he was capable of so much more and who proved he was a man you could trust. Harper, a pretty girl and a petty thief she was sent to her fate like the other delinquents but she is survivor and a follower, she followed her heart, she followed her gut and now, just as before, she would follow Bellamy. Octavia the Skaikru girl who became a Trikru warrior; she lived her life torn between two worlds, the world of her brother and the world of her lover.

And theres Bellamy, the boy who would be King; he lost his crown when he lost his Princess. And now he lives everyday reminded by his nightmares of how far he has to go to find redemption.

They were joined by seven Trikru, they were first guests of Abby in medical but they became the prisoners of Pike in his power hungry takeover of Arkadia. Together they all hoped to make it to Polis and broker a lasting peace and to stave off the seemingly inevitable war that Pikes so desperately wants. But in his heart all Bellamy wants is to find out the truth about Clarke and if she really is dead, to bring her home to her people.

It took two full days to get around the blockade, it was not without its perils, they were spotted at least once by advanced guards from the grounder army but managed to outrun and outwit them. They made it to several villages and after the initial shock of seeing Skaikru, the grounder prisoners were able to convince village elders that not all Sky people were evil, that there was the possibility they could all live in peace. By sun up on the third day the prisoners has all been returned to their villages. And the remaining six continued their quest to Polis.

They rode most of the morning in silence. Octavia rode with Lincoln and Harper doubled with Miller. Kane lead the way with Bellamy riding alone and brought up the rear.

"You don't trust him now do you?" Miller said quietly to Harper, seated behind him on the horse.

"It wasn't so long ago you trusted him with your life and would have followed him anywhere." She replied.

He glanced over his shoulder "Yea well, he's fucked up royally don't you think."

"I think Bellamy deserves a second chance, we all owe him our lives” Harper paused “…. and anyway Clarke would forgive him, she believed in second chances."

Miller sighed "That's a low blow, don't bring Clarke in to this" Miller paused "I know Bellamy lost it when she died, but he started down the wrong path long before that happened."

Harper's voice was low "You know he thinks she's still alive." Miller turned in the saddle so he could see her face and raised his eyebrows at her and she just nodded “hummumm” she murmured.

"That makes him an idiot." Octavia said as she and Lincoln rode next to them. "He and Clarke both made crappy choices, hers to trust Lexa and his to think she'd come back. Yes they were our leaders and they kept us alive, barely."

"Do not be too hard on your brother, Pike manipulated him after Clarke left, but he is trying to make things right again" Lincoln said wrapping his arm a bit tighter around her.

Octavia was quick to respond "Yea and it only took Clarke dying for that to happen."

They stopped to rest the horses by a small stream and gathered around Kane "I think this is where we need to split up.” He said.

“We aren't far from TonDC, Lincoln and Octavia can get there on foot and see if they can find Indra or any information we can use to get into Polis. Since we now have Harper and Miller you two can ride with us to Polis, as the ambassador from the 13th clan I am allowed two personal guards, so one of you will be Bellamy's second and the other will relay information between us and you two in TonDC."

Everyone agreed and Lincoln and Octavia gathered their belongings from their horse and handed the steed off to Harper.

Bellamy walked over to them as they prepared to leave, "I'm sorry about how things have been," he looked at Lincoln "And about how Pike treated you. I haven't done anything right for a while and Octavia, I know you're not my responsivity anymore but you will always be my sister and I just want you to be safe." Bellamy said.

Octavia sighed as she looked at her brother's face and into his dark eyes and for a split second she remembered the big brother that played with her, took care of her and risked everything to keep her safe. She stepped closer and hugged him gently then pulled back as he said to Lincoln "Take care of her, take care of each other."

Octavia frowned and touched his arm as he turned to walk away "May we meet again." She said.

Bellamy pursed his lips and sniffed softly as he put his hand against her cheek "I think that's unlikely."

"Bellamy" Kane called "Mount up" the young rebel king mounted his horse and followed Kane and the others without looking back.

Octavia leaned back against Lincoln and watched them ride away "He said that like they aren't going to make it."

"It is unlikely" was all he could say.

~~~~~~~

The most direct route to Polis was also the most traveled with guard posts placed along the way. So they took the long way around heading North West to avoid anyone else traveling into Polis, what they failed to anticipate was that due to the conclave and the Commanders period of mourning that even the back roads would be heavy with Capitol guards and members of the grounder army.

They never saw the archer; they were too busy riding for their lives from capitol guards.

Bellamy was deep in thought as he rode behind Miller and Harper, he said his goodbye to Octavia, he knew they were good and that eased his mind, but he still couldn't shake the feeling he had for three weeks now that Clarke was alive, he couldn't understand it to himself, so he never tried to explain it to anyone else, but he always felt her as if she were standing next to him. She walked beside him as he paroled Arcadia, he heard her voice in the breeze while standing watch and he saw her face in his dreams. He knew she was alive, he knew it in his gut. But what worried him was that he felt her pain. After the initial shock of hearing about her death, his dreams shifted from the usual nightmares of blood and death and of the hellish terrors that invaded his sleep, to more and more about Clarke.

After she left all those months ago he spent most dreams hunting her down, several dreams he had caught her, in some he killed her, in others he kissed her. In his dreams he held her as she cried and she picked him up when he fell. Even in his dreams they were partners. But after the reports of her death all his dreams were the same, her lying somewhere, in pain and calling for him. He could never reach her.

Bellamy took a deep breath and shook himself, ‘watch yourself, this is how people die, when they lose focus’… he reached for his canteen and took a long drink when he heard Kane’s voice…..

"Ride!” he shouted “Ride!"

Harper and Miller rode hard, out in front keeping Kane in the middle between them and Bellamy, as the sound of galloping horses came at the from the East, racing towards them through the woods. They tried to maintain their distance but the grounders were raised on horseback and the four Skaikru, though accomplished were not match for the more experienced riders.

Bellamy was riding hard bringing up the rear, when a lone rider came at them from the right, Bellamy saw the rider first, standing in his stirrups, drawing his bow and just as the archery let fly his arrow Bellamy put himself between the rider and Kane. The arrow found a target but not Kane. It imbedded itself in Bellamy’s chest, knocking him back, almost off the horse but he managed to keep his seat and to keep riding as they came to a river

Bellamy yelled up to Harper “Stay in the water they can’t follow our trail.”

They rode in the water for more than a quarter mile before riding up the bank of the other side and into the woods. As they slowed the horses Miller turns back towards the others "I think we lost them at least for now but…." He never finished as Harper gasped "Shit! Bellamy."

The others looked back at Bellamy who was leaning over his horse’s neck, an arrow protruding from his chest. He was pale and there was blood soaking the front of his jacket and he had the reins wrapped tight around his wrists to keep from falling off. Kane leapt off his horse and took the horses bridle “Let go the reins son” Marcus said “let go, I’ve got you.”

Kane caught Bellamy as he slipped out of the saddle towards the ground.

"Damnit!"  Bellamy groans as he struggles to find his footing. The arrow was deep in his chest, under the collar bone but managed not go all the way through. Kane with Millers help lowers him to the ground.

"What do we do?" Harper asks.

"Break it off, but don't pull it out….That's what Clarke would do." Bellamy mumbled, his breathing was strained and his hands were shaking as he held the base of the arrow.

"Ok” Kane said and then turned to Miller “help me hold the shoulder stable "Nate knelt next to Bellamy and put his knee on his arm held his head out of the way.

Kane quickly broke the arrow off leaving several inches protruding from his chest.

Miller fashioned a sling out of the strap from Bellamy's pack and they helped him sit up.

"Are you ok to ride?" Kane asked.

Bellamy nodded "Yes sir. Help me up." He said reaching his hand up to Miller.

"We can rest for a moment, if you need to" Kane asked.

"No time” he said through his teeth “you have to get to Polis and we have riders coming."

He was right, in the distance they heard horses riding towards them. Bellamy stood up; taking charge of the situation, The King took over.

"Quick, help me, get me on my horse." Bellamy barked orders as he struggled to get back in the saddle, “Everyone, mount up.”

He looked at Kane, "Sir you need to get to Polis, I'll lead the grounders in the other direction. You have to be at the conclave and the meeting of the Clans, it's the only way to find out the truth."

"What about you?" Miller asked

"We aren't going to leave you” Harper shouted.

Bellamy was hunched over in the saddle and looked over at his friend and he shook his head, he could feel the blood running down his chest and soaking the front of his shirt.

He pointed to the two Guards that had been beside him since they landed in the dropship. “I trust you to make sure Kane gets to Polis, to do whatever it takes to make sure he’s in that meeting.”

Bellamy shifted in the saddle "I don't know how far I'll make it, but I know I can't make it to Polis, if I can lose them, I'll head to TonDC. You just get Kane to that meeting…" Bellamy paused …." and Miller…"

"Yea?"

"If you find her, get Clarke home for me." He nods to Kane and turns his horse back toward the river.   
He looks back and shouts "Now Go!" as he plunges back into the river and rides towards the pursing grounders.

~~~~~~

Bellamy lead the Grounders East and then North along the river bank and West, basically in circles, before he realized they are no longer following him, and as he slowed his horse, he hoped the thirty minutes they chased him was enough of a lead for Kane. Bellamy slowed the horse to a trot, he was having a difficult time catching his breath and “to tell you the truth” he said to himself “I'm not sure where I am.”

He slowly slid off the horse and tried to stand but dropped to his knees.

"You're on the ground silly" …he heard a voice say. "That makes you a grounder" the voice giggled.

He looked around, cradling his arm, he didn't see anyone, but he saw some movement up ahead. He stood and staggered "Yea, go that way. I'll go with you." The voice said. He looked around again and saw a silhouette of someone just ahead “who are you?” he called as he moved toward the figure. There was something familiar about the figure and as he got closer and the light shifted he saw……

"Clarke? Why are you here? Are you back!" each time he stepped closer the figured moved away.

"I never left, not really"

"But you did, you left…You left me"…. Bellamy kept walking "Why couldn't you stay with me. I needed you.”

Bellamy fell to his knees shouting "You always told me you needed me, how everyone needed ME" he was gasping for air "Why wasn't it ok for me to need you. I needed you to come inside! I needed you to tell me it would be ok. We should have been together."

Bellamy stood back up and followed the illusion of Clarke and as he reached for her he staggered and fell back on the rocky terrane and hitting his head he lay unconscious on the ground.

~~~~~~

He heard voices, nearby but far away, he strained to hear what they were saying but couldn’t make it out and he seemed to be having trouble opening his eyes. The last thing he remembers was the grounders, following him and Kane and the others escaping. He slowly moved his right hand to his left shoulder expecting to find the arrow still there, but only found bandages. Not sure where he was or what was going on he remained as still and quiet as he could as he finally opened his eyes and looked towards the voices and saw to figures standing across a room he didn’t recognize, he blinked several times….Murphy? What the hell? Wait? What? He thought as he watched he saw Murphy take the arms of a women, a women with golden blonde hair and give her a shake.

‘Oh god Clarke, he’s hurting Clarke’ he thought to himself as he struggled to sit up and to reach out to them, but he stopped as Clarke buried her face in Murphy’s chest and put her arms around his waist and Murphy patted her back and stroked her long hair.

He lay back down not sure what he was seeing or if it was all an illusion, but is looked like Clarke was hugging Murphy. This can only mean one thing……. he was dead, and that this is hell.

………..

…. Thank you all for the reviews! You make my little grounder heart sing!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke are reunited - Does it go smoothly? I'm Guessing No....... The events of the past get in the way, Bellamy finally gets to vent his emotions - Angsty Bellamy...yum!

Hello my dears, well I thought 11 chapters , we'll see. Here's 10 and I have written the Epilogue so I know how this bad boy will end, but 1 or 2 more chapters I ...just ... dont ... know...

Thank you all for reading, reviewing and all the love!! ! Enjoy my darlings - Namaste

...

_Murphy? What the hell? Wait ..wait ... his mind was playing tricks as he watched he saw Murphy take the arms of a women, a women with golden blonde hair and pull her close._

_'Oh god Clarke, he's hurting Clarke' he thought to himself as he struggled to sit up, he started to reach out to them, but he stopped as Clarke buried her face in Murphy's chest and put her arms around his waist as Murphy patted her back and stroked her long hair._

_He lay back down not sure what he was seeing or if it was all an illusion, but is looked like Clarke was hugging Murphy. This can only mean one thing, he was dead, and that this is hell._

… _..._

Bellamy groaned as he dropped back down on the cot and closed his eyes hoping that when he opened them the hellish illusion would be gone.

Clarke and Murphy heard Bellamy groan and turn to see him moving and Clarke was at his side in two steps.

"Hey there" she says as she drops to one knee next to the cot. "How do you feel?" She picks up his hand and checks his pulse and then lays a hand on his cheek and forehead as she checks for fever. She picks up his hand again, her fingers on his wrist.

"You did that already" he says his voice cracking.

Clarke chuckled "So I did." She lays his hand on his chest but holds on to it for a moment longer.

Bellamy lets his eyes drift between Clarke and Murphy. He hold murphy's gaze a moment "You two are supposed to be dead."

"Nice to see you too Bellamy" Murphy said.

"We were told Titus killed you, both of you, because you killed Lexa."

Bellamy frowned and his eyes darkened as Murphy put his hand on Clarkes shoulder "I'll let Clark fill you in, I'm going to see if Niylah is awake."

Clarke pats his hand "I'll be in soon to get some of that tea for Bellamy, could you make sure she has some water boiling."

Murphy nods and slips out the door.

"So tell me how you're doing?" Clarke asks turning back toward her patient.

Bellamy takes a long breath "Ok I guess, my chest hurts, and when I first woke up I think I was hallucinating but I guess I'm good." He tried to push himself up to sitting.

"Oh no…no no. You're not getting up. I'll help you sit up but you need to stay here and rest" Clarke grabbed some furs to help prop him up.

"How long have I been here?" he said leaning against the furs. Not taking his eyes off of Clarke, words in his head matching the beating of his heart…ba bum ba bum ba bum - not dead... not dead... not dead.

"Niylah found you before we got here; we've been  here since last evening and its dawn now so probably at least a day."

Again Bellamy tries to get up "I have to go, get to Polis" his breathing ragged just from that small effort.

"Bellamy, you can't. What's so important? What were you doing out here anyway? How'd you get past the blockade? I have a few questions" Clarke hands him a cup of water.

"You?…You have a few questions? Clarke, everyone thinks you're dead." Bellamy's voice is filled with raw emotion, "Abby thinks you're dead, that her daughter is dead. Your friends think your dead, your friends Clarke, remember them.... Raven, Monty, Miller, all our people." He spat out the word 'our' like it left a sour taste in his mouth.

Bellamy had raging and conflicting emotions when it came to Clarke. They forged a partnership while leading the 100. A unique pairing, his emotional, volatile and passionate need to make sure everyone was safe, matched with her logic, her attention to detail and her passionate need to take care of everyone before herself. Together they were one whole person, a team to lead and keep their people safe. They drew on those strengths and he felt himself growing closer to her as they took on the grounders and Mount Weather … together. He thought she'd felt the same. 

They were the perfect team and he would have walked beside her forever, no matter what.

But now as he looks at her, sitting on the edge of his cot holding his hand all he can see is the woman who stood beside the one that betrayed them and he sees the woman who left, left her friends, her family…. She left him.

He slowly pulled his hand from hers.

"Why Clarke? Why let them all suffer like that?"

It wasn't lost on her that he referred to everyone who would be affected by her death….except himself.

Clarke took a deep breath and placed her now empty hand in her lap, "I had to, if Titas finds me he'll kill me and if the 12 clans find out that Wanheda….. "

Bellamy interrupts and mumbles "….the mighty Wanheda."

Clarke swallows her pain "…. If they find out that I'm alive the coalition will fail, war will break out among the clans over who will be the next commander and Arkadia won't stand a chance. The Ice nation alone has more manpower than you know, all your guns, all Pikes talk…...they will burn you to the ground."

It wasn't lost on Bellamy that Clarke talked about Arkadia as if it wasn't her home.

Clarke sighed and let her head fall forward, chin almost to her chest, she was exhausted, Bellamy was right; all they knew was war, and they had been at war since they landed. And not just with the grounders but with each other and that internal warring will be the end of Skiakru, she was afraid that it was already the end of anything she and Bellamy may have built.

She looked down at her hands, on the surface they looked clean and she wondered if the feeling of dried blood will ever go away "And for that reason I made the decision not to come …" she started to say home, but Arkadia was never home, there has only been one place on the ground that ever felt like home. She looked over at Bellamy and into his deep brown eyes "...…back. I couldn't come back; I couldn't risk the lives of my Mom, my friends …. or you."

There was a deep, dark empty silence for a moment before Bellamy finally broke it, he pushed himself up and leaned towards her and with quiet venom said "You make all the decisions, don't you Clarke. Arbitrary ones… no one else gets a say…. Why the hell do you get to decide?" Bellamy fell back against the furs.

Clarke stood up, only Bellamy's words could cut so deep. She understands his anger, but understanding doesn't make it any less painful. She walks towards the door and with her back to him asks "Why are you out here?"

Bellamy heard the anguish in her voice but he shook his head trying not to let her grief over take his, "looking for answers... looking for you."

Clarke wanted to run back to him and yell ' _I'm right here_ ' … but she knew it wouldn't help, she knew that it wouldn't matter. She nodded, opened the door and her voice betraying her said "I'll send Nyilah in with your tea"

…...

Bellamy walked into the living quarters behind the trading post, Niylah was there making the tea and wrapping some food in cloths. "Hello Bellamy she said over her shoulder, the cups are there" she said pointing to a shelf near the door, "pour yourself some tea"

"Thank you. Do you know where Clarke is?" He had spoken with Murphy after Clarke left him alone in the shed. Murphy had filled him in on how Lexa died and their escape from the capitol and all that Clarke had been through. He didn't know she still had nightmares, Murphy didn't go into details but he suspected her's were a lot like his. He remembered the things he said to her just a few hours ago and a knot grew deep inside him, he said them to hurt her, he deliberately hurt her. Just something else he fucked up and needed to make right.

"Yes they went to hunt" Niylah said "they said they would be back after lunch. They always insist on leaving me with more than I am giving them. That is their way."

Bellamy bristled at the way she kept saying 'they' like 'they' were together. There were those conflicting emotions again, jealous of time she spends with someone else, but couched with anger at all that she has done and sprinkled with a healthy dose of guilt over all the things he's done.

She kept talking "I should have the food ready when they get back. Plenty for many days travel."

He couldn't help but wonder where they'd go. He took a deep breath ' _but I can't worry about that now. I need to get to Kane_ ' he thought to himself. He got a cup and filled it with tea.

"I was hoping I could fill my canteen and maybe I could get some food too before I head out."

She turned to look at him and seeing the expression on his face "oh I have packed plenty for all of you."

"For all of us?" Bellamy asked as the door opened.

Clarke and Murphy walked in "How about a couple of fat rabbits?" Murphy asked holding the animals up by their hind quarters.

"Ahh those are fine John." Niylah said "let's taking them out back I can show you how to skin them so you can preserve the fur for later."

They went out back leaving Clarke and Bellamy alone "Good to see you up" She said pouring herself some tea. The doctor in her wanted to check his wound, or to see if he had a fever, but that would mean getting close and touching him, she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and she felt her resolve weaken, the doctor in her be damned, she couldn't be that close. She looked back at her cup as she stirred her tea **.**

She had spent most of the day steeling her heart against the feelings she had for him, realizing now that the trust they had once was gone. She would give anything to earn his trust back, maybe he'll never love her, but if he could just trust her again, she needs that, she needs him, she wants him. She wants him beside her again, it always felt right to have him there but what she wants doesn't matter, and if she can't have what she wants, then she will simply stop wanting…she won't want anything. God she had to get a grip. ' _If this was going to work I have to be strong.'_

"Feels good to be up." Bellamy said "Look Clarke about this morning, about the things I said…" Bellamy started.

Clarke waved her hand "No…it's alright. You were right… about a lot of things." She strengthened her resolve and looked at him, but still takes a small step back and hopes he didn't notice, "And I'm sorry for a lot of the decisions I've made, you're right we've been at war since we landed …..and I'm tired…."

"Clarke….." Bellamy started and closed the distance between them.

Clarke picked up her tea and turned away "Let it go Bellamy, you didn't say anything that wasn't true." She turned back to face him when she felt she had created the barrier she needed "It's time to move on…. Murphy told me you two spoke earlier and why you need to get to the Capitol, you can't take the main roads you'll never get there in time. I know a better way, faster, through the tunnels; we will make sure you get to Polis."

Clarke can't help but lead and make decisions, it is how she's built and if Bellamy doesn't like it well too bad, this is who she is ….."You need to be with Kane, he's the only hope Arkadia has of over throwing Pike and securing a truce with the new commander. Murf and I can't be seen in Polis, but we can get you there and then we can get word to Octavia too. We'll do what we can. But no one can know I'm alive...you know that."

He nods and she continues as she walks to the door "When this is all over you can tell Abby, our friends, anyone you want, but I can't go back…." ' _I can never go home'_ she thought to herself. She turns her head and looks at him and realizes, probably for the first time, how much she loved him, really loved him and she knew that to keep him safe she would have to disappear and that he could never know. ' _Love isn't a weakness Lexa', she thought to herself 'it may just be my greatest strength.'_

"We'll leave within the hour, I'll let Murphy know" and with that she walked out, leaving Bellamy with his thoughts.

......

I love this chapter.....I could 'tweak' it to death though...' _walk away'_ the muse says ' _walk away and quit fucking with my work_ ' He says looking over my shoulder....If he was so damn worried about his "work" he'd be over there writing upcoming chapters for the 2 stories I have started over at FF.... instead of doing his nails or having a drink or two. Seriously he's pissing me off....I may just have to write them without him...... Just sayin'


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy, Clarke & Murphy make their way to Polis, but the road is filled with dangers and someone is lost along the way.

Ok OK Maybe 2 more after this...It's just starting to get good I cant stop now, I need to know how this ends..

Reviews are appreciated

...

An hour later the Skaikru trio had finished getting their packs ready and Clarke and Murphy waited while Bellamy took his canteen and weapons off his saddle. Where they were going a horse would be useless.

He threw his rifle over his shoulder and handed his handgun to Murphy. Murphy turned the weapon over in his hands and smiled, he couldn't help it but it felt good to have something other than some medieval bullshit to fight with. He was never any good at close quarter fighting, shot and run, that's his motto. He tucked the gun in his pants and handed his sword to Clarke. She looked it over, smiled, nodded and stuck it the belt around her pack that already held her sword, making both now easily accessible. Clarke was never comfortable with guns, but in the last few months she'd gotten very good with heavy weapons.

Murphy looked at Bellamy "Now that's badass" he said tossing his head in her direction. Clarke has always been oblivious to what she looks like, never knowing how beautiful or fierce she could be. Dressed now in some of Niylahs clothes, her blonde hair was braided away from her face, but left flying free down her back and she stood with her hands on her hips and the two swords on her back, she was the perfect fierce Warrior Princess. ' _My warrior princess'_ Bellamy thought to himself, the smile leaving his face, ' _not his…..not anymore, well never really was_.'

"We should get going" He said walking towards Niylah and reaching his arm out to her.

Niylah gasped Bellamy's forearm, "Safe travels Bellamy." She said.

"Thank you…thank you for everything." Bellamy said as Niylah turned towards Clarke.

"Take care Clarke" Niylah said pulling Clarke into a warm hug "If it goes well you come back. You are always welcome."

Clarke leans in putting her forehead against Niylah's "thank you for all you've done, and for being a friend." She kisses her lightly and whispers "And I'll make sure John, makes it home to you."

Niylah smiled a bit "If that is what he wants. Now go."

Clarke and Bellamy step off the porch and start walking slowly towards the woods.

They hear Murphy and Niylah talking and Bellamy turns to see the two in a passionate embrace.

Bellamy grunts in surprise causing Clark to look back "Don't stare Bellamy, it's rude." She pulls his arm "let's give them some space, Murphy can catch up."

"So that doesn't bother you, the two of them?" Bellamy asks as they walk slowly towards the tree line, he realizes that its none of his business and he can't believe he said that out loud.

"Them? No… No Niylah and I are good friends, no romance."

"I..ummm was referring to you and Murphy."

"Whoa… Me and Murphy?" Clarke looks stunned and nods towards the couple "they are much better together, trust me. She's good for him."

"So you and Murphy …. You haven't…. You aren't with Murphy; I mean …you know …... "

"Spit it out Bellamy" Clarke said with just a bit of an edge to her voice.

"..Slept with him, have you slept with Murphy?" Bellamy raked his hand over his face "…not my business, sorry"… he paused "but Murphy!?"

Clarke feeling fairly indignant and rightly so took a deep breath "Well yes, actually I have, every night for the last 3 and a half weeks, in caves, under trees, in run down shelters, a barn or two. Hey I even spent one night with Nyko," her voice elevating a bit "You wanna hear about that too!"

Bellamy closed his eyes trying to compose himself and his thoughts "I'm sorry" he said opening his eyes "It's just that you seemed pretty close" he shook his head "just chalk it up to the head injury"….he reached out and took her arm "I'm sorry."

"Look Bellamy, he took care of me. I don't know what I would have done the last 3 weeks if not for him." Clarke looked back at the kissing couple "And if you must know there was one night….the 2nd time we were here, I had a…. another nightmare, Murphy was trying to calm me down and Nyilah came out, we were staying in the shed and she said we could stay inside with her since I was so upset, that's when they hooked up. I just …. was…" she smiled sadly "Just along for the ride. So yea you could say we did and I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself…." She looked back at Bellamy "but for the record he calls he Little sister. So it's not what you think."

"And it's not like I can be with anyone, not in a real relationship, it wouldn't be fair them." She shook her head "I can't…. I don't want…. Never mind" She put her hands out in a 'whatever gesture' and started again towards the woods.

"What, Clarke? You don't want 'what'?" Bellamy said walking beside her.

Clarke felt heavy tears welling up for the first time in a long time, sad tears, and the kind that can choke your soul. The kind that if started she knew would never end. She took a deep breath, stood a little taller and turned her head to look him in the eyes "I don't want to ' _want_ ' what I can't have" she sighed "so I don't ' _want_ ' anything. It's just better this way."

She turned away "Murphy if you're staying, stay, but if you're coming we have to go." She slung her pack over her shoulder and headed for the trail.

Murphy jogged a bit to catch up and quickly past Bellamy and turned back to as his former leader turned adversary turned somewhat tolerable friend who was just standing there "come on man, what's the hold up, this is your party we're going to."

Bellamy walked quickly into the woods to catch up to his friends and Niylah just stood in porch and watched as they walked deeper into the woods and murmured the travelers blessing " _hashta yu soujon, Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim"_ She spoke only to the wind and watched until they were long out of sight _"Ai hod op yu, John Murphy kom skiakru."_

…...

They wandered through the woods for several hours, before Clarke motioned for them to stop. They had come to a small field well off the beaten track "Here," She gestured to a raise in the ground near a hillside that nature had all but obscured. After she moved back some brush and leaves she revealed a round entrance that extend about a foot above the ground and was covered with a heavy iron top.

Murphy rolled his eyes and tilted his head to the left "The sewers? You couldn't find us a nice reaper filled transit tunnel?" he helped her move the heavy cover to the side, leaving just enough space to slip through "even after 100 years it still smells down there."

"Quit whining Murf and get in" Clarke took his pack and tossed it down the hole.

"Me? Why do I have to go first?" Murphy crossed his arms and looked at her.

Clarke huffed loudly, tossed her pack down and started to put one leg over before he stopped her….

"Fine, I'll go first but you owe me." Murphy got both legs over and started down the ladder.

Clarke insisted that Bellamy go next and then she followed and she struggled to get the cover back in place before she climbed the rest of the way down.

"This sewer line leads all the way into Polis and we should have you inside the city by early morning." Clarke said as they began walking using only Bellamy's flashlight to illuminate their path.

"Do reapers use these tunnels?" Bellamy asked. Remembering his time with Lincoln in the tunnels leading to the mountain and seeing the reapers up close.

"I think so, but it's rare. I heard stories when I was out here after….. after the mountain, but I haven't ever seen any in the sewers. But you do run into them in the tunnels. I guess not all have been cured and frankly I think their more dangerous now that they can't get the Red. I don't think all of them can be cured. A lot of them were on the Red a long time; it had to have done some permanent damage to their brains."

Murphy set his pack down and took out a flint and lit the torch that Niylah had fashioned for them from oiled cloth and a sturdy stick.

Clarke took the torch and gave him the flashlight "I'll take the lead; I'll recon a bit. Murphy you stay back with Bellamy." And with that she lengthened her stride and had it not been for the light of her torch she would have been out of sight.

"Hey not too far Clarke." Murphy called. "Stay within calling range."

He bent down and picked up his pack and slung it over his shoulder "She gets like this, likes to walk alone." He continues talking as they walk "Says it clears her head, but usually it's the opposite, her mind wanders and then she walks up on a snake or a bear or worse." He grunts "like when she walked up on grounder camp…..that was fun. Come on lets catch up."

Bellamy cocked an eyebrow wondering when John Murphy actually began worrying about someone other than himself.

…...

They walked in silence letting Clarke lead for nearly an hour before Bellamy finally broke the silence.

"So why are you helping Clarke? If you only needed her to get out of Polis why are you still with her? Clark says there isn't anything going on between you two?"

"Nothing going on? Well I am hurt." He sensed the King tense up, yea you never could tease him about the Princess "relax; there isn't….I mean there was that one time. But I'm guessing you don't want to hear about that." He said with a smart ass grin on his face.

"Why did you stay? Once you were out of the city you could have gone anywhere?"

"Well I didn't do it for you. I still think you're an asshole." He looked at Bellamy.

Bell nodded "Noted. But I still want to know why."

Murphy waited a moment, shrugged and said "Because she's better than us….me and you put together …she's better than us."

"Not that she's perfect. She's too damn serious, all the damn time. And she can be a little self-righteous and bossy…fuckin' bossy."

Bellamy snorted a little and smiled in the darkness at his description mostly because it was exactly right.

"But she's been the one to make the hard choices, maybe they were wrong choices, I don't know, but no one else was making them that's for damn sure. And twice she didn't let you kill me, twice she made the choice to defy you and let me live. And I didn't deserve it. And because she doesn't think she deserves anything ….and I trust her. So I don't care if you think you're still the fucking King or not,…..

I… do not… care. But she loves you and if you hurt her I will kill you. Killing isn't hard for me. Not if I think it's justified."

There was a long pause "Just watch your step….."

"Is that a threat Murphy?" Bellamy said his voice hard and annoyed at the direction this conversation had gone.

"No…..Really watch your step. There are rats in here the size of Jahas head." Murphy walks a bit faster and calls ahead "Hod up Clarke, ai lead nau."

Bellamy watch them exchange their lights wondering if he had heard Murphy right…did he say Clarke loved him?

…...

They bunked down for the night at a junction in the tunnels. The main line they walked down was still tall enough to stand in and a smaller one to the left just big enough to crawl through but not much. There was wood here probably washed in by rains, or perhaps brought here by grounders who used the tunnels occasionally.

They built a small fire and Clarke took the first watch. They only had a few hours till sun up; she would rest when they had gotten Bellamy safely to Kane. She sat where she could see in both directions and into the smaller tunnel and let her thoughts wander. She looked at Murphy sleeping peacefully on the other side of the fire…." _You're up Clarke, I'm tired."_ He said after he got the fire started. He dropped his pack a little bit away and laid his head on it and was asleep in moments.

Bellamy sat to the right of her leaning against the wall chewing on a dried cake that Niylah had packed them.

"You should get some rest Bellamy; we have a lot of ground to cover in the morning."

He listened to Murphy's soft snoring and he took a sip of water from his canteen. "Listen I want to tell you I'm sorry about Lexa, I didn't like her and I didn't trust her, but you did and so I'm sorry that you lost her. I know she…meant something to you."

"Thank you" Clarke said not knowing what else to say "You were right by the way, about Lexa, always putting her people first."

Bellamy didn't say anything. It one point, a few lifetimes ago, he had hoped he was wrong about that.

"It's who she was. She couldn't help herself. That's how she was programed. It's what has kept the grounders alive and surviving since the bombs."

"What do you mean 'she was programmed? That she was trained to be that way?"

"Yea maybe, but mostly I think it was the AI…." She looked sideways at him "I've thought a lot about this, if the Artificial Intelligence was implanted in her at the time she became Heda, and that same AI program had been in all the other Commanders over the last 97 years, then it's like it gathered all the data collected from the previous commanders and fed it to her, in a sense she merged with all the other commanders, including the first one, the one who created the original program."

"She stopped being Lexa, the real Lexa when she received implant. That's what the conclave is about, getting that AI implanted into a new commander. Passing that data long, keeping it alive. She said that death wasn't the end, that's what she meant, that she would live on, her memories or maybe just her thought patterns, but something of her would live in the next commander. Murphy said that Allie, the AI chip that Jaha has is looking for her up grade, Allie 2. I think when you get back to Arkadia, Pike might not be your biggest threat."

They sat in silence for a while before Bellamy chuckled and Clarke looked at him "What? What's so amusing?"

Bellamy just shook his head and sighed "'cause that's what we need another threat, something worse than the grounders and more insidious than the mountain. When do we get a break Princess, a chance to just breathe and enjoy being on the ground. So far it's not been the party they promised it would be." Bellamy let his head fall back against the wall and closed his eyes. His breathing slowed a bit and she watched as he drifted, not asleep but not awake. That place he would always go to rest, but still keep everyone safe.

And she smiled and bit her lip….he called her Princess, oh she'd had missed that. She glanced at him and reached her right hand up to gently cradle his face and to encourage his head to drop softly to her shoulder, her hand rested on his knee as she listened to his breathing and kept watch.

Bellamy, though the fog of a light sleep felt her soft hair against his cheek and felt more at home than he had in a long time.

…...

Clarke watched as the fire burned itself out and except for her flashlight it was dark and except for the soft breathing of the two men on either side of her it was eerily silent. She waited another hour before waking Murphy to take the next watch and then she settled next to Bellamy and closed her eyes.

It seemed to Clarke as if only a few moments has pass before she felt Murphy shaking her shoulder with one hand , his other over her mouth and whispering in her ear "Shhhhh…someone's coming"

She sat up slowly and whispered "Any idea who?"

"Listen…." At first she didn't hear anything, and then she heard the sounds of running, metal clinging and the shouts of …

"Reapers!" Clarke exclaimed as she reached down to wake up Bellamy only to find him already on one knee.

"We need to get the hell out of here" He said as he stood up reaching for his pack and his weapon.

They begin running through the tunnel, headed towards Polis, but the reapers were on them fast. They felt arrows flying past their heads and Clarke was doing her best to stay with up the guys. One of them seemed to have her arm at any given time, dragging her along, she was fast, but they were faster. She turned her head to look back to see how close the mutant grounders were and she stumbled and took a hard fall. She gasped and was already scrambling back up when Bellamy ran back, he grabbed her and propelled her towards Murphy and away from the reapers.

The reapers are close and just as Bellamy shoves Clarke towards Murphy one of the reapers tackles him and Clarke screams "Bellamy, No!"

Murphy turned, his sidearm already drawn and gets closer to get a clear shot, as the shot rings out the reaper falls on top of Bellamy, who claws his way out from under the dead creature as Murphy takes aim and kills another.

Clarke calls out to them "Here …Here. Shit!...NO!" The men reach her as she shines her light on a pile of debris that is blocking the tunnel. "Crap" Bellamy says "Start digging, we have to get through this."

"No …No time" Murphy says pointing towards the tunnel and hearing the terrifying sounds coming down the tunnels. He points to another small tunnel "Climb in, hurry" he yells as an arrow shoots past them.

Bellamy and Clarke turn towards the tunnel as Murphy again raises his weapon "Murphy come on" Yells Clarke.

"No" Murphy said pushing Clarke towards the small tunnel "You two go that way; I'll lead them away….."

"No!" Clarke exclaimed "No Murphy, I'm not leaving you to the reapers."

Murphy looks at Bellamy and nods towards the tunnel "Get in and take her with you"

Bellamy nods and hands Murphy his rifle and takes his handgun "Think you're going to need this more than us."

"Clarke they're coming, you have to get Bellamy to Kane. I promise I'll see you there. NOW GO!"

Clarke pauses throws her arms around him "Don't you dare die Murphy, don't you dare!"

Bellamy pulls her into the small tunnel and they crawl as quickly as they can away from the sounds of gunfire and reapers yelling and then they hear screaming and rapid gun fire and then silence. Clarke stops, and listens but can't hear anything else. The silence is deafening and telling. She starts crawling again and the tears slowly roll down her face.

...

Oh my Murphy! Damn Muse! He is always damaging my calm - Makes me cry and stuff -

I hope you're enjoying reading...I know I am enjoying writing. Let me know what you think.

Namaste

ce

**quick translation of Nyilah "hashta yu soujon" Safe passage on your travels " _Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim" P_ erhaps we will meet again or May we meet a gain - So basically a short version of the travelers prayer

_Ai hod op yu, John Murphy kom skiakru." I_ will wait for you John Murphy of the sky people


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke finally make their way to Polis. Without Murphy. They share a moment together before Bellamy goes to find Kane but He is captured by capitol guards. What will happen now?

 

He felt every rock, pebble, stick and piece of rumble under his knees and hands as they crawled along the narrow tunnel. He never has liked small spaces, and since Mount Weather, well between cages and flamed filled tunnels it's worse. He glances back over his shoulder to see how Clarke is doing. He can hear her breathing and moving and she's keeping up, but judging by her face she is moving on auto pilot. They hadn't heard the reapers in a while or Murphy's scream either. He watched up ahead as the light got brighter and brighter as they crawled closer to the exit.

Bellamy slowed down as he reached the exit and looked out into another larger tunnel, not seeing any reapers or grounders he tumbled head first he fell out onto the ground. Getting up quickly he turned to help Clarke as she as she reached the entrance, she climbed out and Bellamy could see the blank look in her eyes, she looked back into the tunnel, shining her flashlight, looking but knowing that Murphy probably wouldn't be there.

"He didn't have to do that!" she asked looking at Bellamy "He could have followed us. Why'd he do that?" Her was voice cracking with emotion as she spoke.

"He was protecting you; he did what had to be done." He looked at her and he noticed a small trickle of blood slowly creeping down her temple, from a cut on her forehead "You're hurt?"

"I'm fine" she said trying to pull herself together as she turned away from his arms and began looking around "I'm not sure which way we need to go but maybe…" She never finished, Bellamy grabbed her pack and pulled it off of her as she spun around "….Hey…what?" she stopped, her eyes widened in surprise as he held up her pack.

Two arrows had plunged into the center of her pack.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Bellamy yelled as he spun her around so he could look at her back.

"I didn't know!...I didn't realize." She stammered "I'm ok though" She tried to turn back but Bellamy continued to make sure. Almost frantic, he ran his hands along her arms, he pushed her hair out of the way and he lifted her shirt.

"Bellamy I'm fine" Clarke said over her shoulder and when Bellamy was sure that the arrows had done no damage he let out a sigh of relief and let his forehead fall against the back of her head and his hands held on tight to her arms.

Clarke held her breath for a moment feeling his heartbeat against her back.

"I'm Ok, I promise" She said softly as she turned slowly in his arms. Her eyes met his "It's Ok."

Bellamy took his hand and pushed a stray hair away from her face. All he wanted to do was to hold her tight and tell her that he couldn't lose her again. He wanted to tell her about his nightmares, his losses and about his pain and struggles after Mount Weather, but he couldn't. He wanted to tell her…. so many things, but right now he didn't know if she would be around tomorrow or next week. He just couldn't trust her. He missed their mutual trust, their relationship was built on it, even when there was nothing else between them; they had trusted each other, completely. And now that was gone. And he didn't know how to get that back.

Clarke lowered her hand and took a step back. She could see it in his face; she could see what his mind was telling him. "I'm sorry Bellamy, I really am." She said as she bent down to pick up her pack, she slung it over her shoulder "Not all my decisions were the right ones, and I hurt … everyone, but you most of all and I don't know how to fix that." She smirked a little "Kind of funny don't you think, that the Princess can't fix everything. And no matter how hard I try, it doesn't matter. Not everyone can be saved…. rescued. And if I do try to save one, someone else is probably going to die. I made the decision to help you get to Polis but it was Murphy that paid for that decision." She paused "We need to go" she looked around, pointed to her right "Let's try that way. We need to get above ground so I can get my bearings, look for any kind of way up and out."

She lead and Bellamy followed, just like in the early days when they were simply trying to survive and their animosity towards one another was palpable. They didn't always agree on a solution but they almost always had the same goal…. 'that today no one would die.'

'Maybe we could just start over' Bellamy thought to himself as he watched the Princess lead the way.

…...

It took about an hour of trudging through the dark tunnels to find a metal ladder that lead above ground. After another hour of walking in the bright daylight they found themselves standing at the edge of the woods, about 300 yards from the main entrance into Polis. Even from here they could see and feel the energy of the city. People came and went through the main gates but they were heavily guarded and they watched as the guards stopped people, looked into wagons, and checked people's bags.

"What now Princess?" Bellamy asked.

"I've never seen this heavy a guard presence before, you'll never get in that way." Clarke furrowed her brow as she thought it through. "You can't just waltz in the front gate and we still don't know where Kane is, if he made it or if they captured or killed them."

"Just a ray of sunshine aren't you?" Bellamy stood with his arms crossed over his chest "Any other way in?"

Clarke nodded "Two…We go back down into the sewer lines and hope we find the right tunnel that leads under the capitol or you can use the rear gate where Murphy and I came out. It's just around there…" she pointed to the right of the city "….. it's smaller, has fewer guards and if you're lucky no guards at all. From there you could make your way up to the council room and hope you find Kane."

"Let's go for the gate, it's faster and we know where it is." Bellamy checked his weapon and tucked it back in his belt. He turned towards Clarke "Is this as far as you go Princess? If so any last words, helpful tips?"

Clarke opened her mouth to say something, to tell him she missed him, needed him….that she loved him, something, but instead she simply said "No, but I can get you closer to the gate." With that she pulled the hood up on her cape to cover her hair and face "stay in the tree line until we are as close to the gate as possible."

They skirted around the trees and even spotted a few guard patrols but they managed to stay hidden. As they approached the gate they paused, still hidden among the trees and Clarke reached out and touched Bellamy's arm.

"This is as far as I go Bellamy." She looked up at him "Go, I'll make my way to TonDC and let Octavia know you're ok."

"Then what? Where will you go, what will you do?"

Clarke shrugged "I don't know. Murphy and I were going to head farther west, to where the Mississippi river used to run, so I'll probably do that." She frowned "I guess I'll go to the trading post first and let Niylah know about Murphy."

Bellamy took her hands "Do that, go there first and wait ….. I'll get word to you, about how things go here. Maybe then you can come home."

Clarke had an incredulous look on her face "Home to what Bellamy?... Home to the accusations, the fear, the hate, what is there to go home too?"

Bellamy paused he knew how she felt, He wasn't sure Arkadia would ever feel like home to him. He looked down at their hands. Her's so small and yet so powerful. She worries about the lives she took but looking at her hands all he can think of is how many lives she saved, with these hands. And he looked at his, on the ark, helping his mother sew, doing that intricate work, he never would have thought that his hands could kill, but they can, they have, but he also knows they are strong, and that they have have comforted, provided food and have wielded cold, lifeless guns and they have caressed warm soft women...

"Home to me, come home to me Clarke. We'll figure it out, together." He stepped in a little closer as she stepped back, her back against a tree.

Bellamy didn't care at any more about his anger or her pain, all he knew was that if someone didn't say something now they would both regret it, one of them needed to be brave enough to take the first step.

"Wait for me at Niylah's, I'll come for you Clarke I promise." He bent down his face so close to hers she could feel his breath on her face, he reached one hand up to cup her face as the other slipped around her waist and he pulled her close. "I love you Clarke…."

Clarke shook her head and started to argue with him …"No….You can't…"

"Shut up Clarke, you think you can dictate everything; well you can't tell me how I feel…." He lightly kissed her lips sending little bolts of electricity through her body. "….. and I do love you, I tried not to….I tried to hate you…."

He kissed her cheek and let his hand trail down her back to her hip, his fingers barely touching her ass and drawing her in, his lips pressed against her ear as he whispered "…. But I won't let you go without at least telling you, that while you are the single most frustrating …." His lips kissed along her jaw "….opinionated…" he slipped his hand from her cheek to the back of her head and pulled her even closer as his tongue lightly skimming her lips "…..stubborn woman I know…I love you, and I want you to come home."

He looked deep into her eyes, not letting her run this time, he took her hand and placed it over his heart "This is home Clarke, not a place or a building..." He tapped her hand against his chest "...Here is where you will always find home."

Their lips pressed together softly and he allowed his tongue free rein to explore her mouth, as her tongue began to dance with his he knew her resolve was weakening and when her hand, still pressed against his chest grabbed a handful of his shirt he knew she was his.

Clarke slowly rose up on her toes and let her arms slide around his neck as she leaned in to his kisses. She took his kisses and returned them with more fervor than he could have imagined. For one brief moment time was suspended and they knew only each other, their kiss reigniting the relationship that started when the dropship landed, that blossomed as they worked to keep their friends safe, a relationship damaged by the effects of war.

This was what they never talked about, what they had avoided for so long, this is what the others around them had always known, what they didn't realize it in the beginning.

They didn't know it then, but they were destined for one another. Apart they were broken, lost pieces from an incomplete puzzle, but together…. There was sweet perfection in how well their damaged pieces fit together.

Clarke slowly pushed him away and let her hands drift to his chest "I love you too…..I'm so sorry…for everything. I'll make it up to you, I'll find a way, but right now you have to go." She looked up "You have a weapon now that you can use if the Clans try to stop Kane."

Bellamy looked puzzled "What weapon?"

"Me….At the first sign of trouble you let Titas that you know I'm alive. But only Titas, he'll help you if it means keeping the clans from finding out the truth."

Bellamy agreed as he kissed her one more time "Wait for me at Niylahs. We'll figure it out."

Clark smiled "Can we figure it out later?"

"Whenever you're ready" he said as he pulled her hood back up, kissed her one last time and turned towards the city, leaving her to watch from the shadows.

She watched as he made it almost to the city wall and was about to turn to go when she saw guards descend on Bellamy from all directions, he never even had a chance to fight, as one of the guards hit him from behind knocking him to the ground, she gasped as she watched….he wasn't moving.

Clarke started to run towards him when she felt hands grab her from behind and throw her to the ground.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kane and his guards make their way to Polis and are brought before the clan council. will they be killed or will they be able to to find out the truth about Clarke and the death of Lexa?

Thank you to you all for reading! Namaste and Shanti

...

The meeting of the 12 clans had already begun when Kane, Miller and Harper finally arrived in Polis a few hours after the attack that left them running for their lives and Bellamy with an arrow in his chest. They were stopped at the front gates and escorted, none too gently to the capitol building and taken to the council chamber.

When they entered the chamber there were murmurings from the Ambassadors and even angry shouts in their native tongue _'chit laik emo doing hir'_ … and …..' _killem_ ' ….' _emo don no right hir'_

Titas put his hand up "shof op" he shouted.

He turned to Kane "Why are you here?"

Kane stepped forward "I am the ambassador from the 13th clan. We have a right to be here." Kane stood patiently and waited until the rumblings from the other ambassador's stop.

"Skiakru are murders you have no rights here!" Shouted one of the Generals, while another pushed his way towards Kane and pointed at him "Are you the one they call Pike?"

Kane turned towards the man trying to temper his raising anger and calm the creeping fears "I am not Pike," he said with authority while pulling up his sleeve and revealing the coalition brand "I am Kane. Many of know me and I am here to tell you that most of Skiakru do not recognize Pike as our leader and we are working to overthrow him." Kane took another step into the center of the room "We tried to capture him, to bring him here and hand him over to the Commander. We failed….I failed."

Kane took a moment, he knew that the grounders might not respect his admission of failure but they do recognize strength, the strength to fight a common enemy "Pike does not have many followers left but those that are loyal to him have control over the weapons and the guard. But we will take back Arkadia from him. I will not stop until he has paid for the crimes he committed against all of Trigedakru and Skiakru."

"So you want our help, Sky man!" said one of the grounder generals. "Ha! Well I for one will not give it to you. Go home, fight among yourselves, kill your selves, do our work for us" he laughed. a cheer and laughter swept through the ambassadors and their delegates.

"That is enough" A voice roared. Roan of Azgeda, the King of the Ice Nation stood up. He had been the one who captured Wanheda and it was he that brought Clarke to Lexa. In the short time he knew her, he recognised her inner strength and respected her strong moral compass. And even though she had been his captive, and even after leaving her with Heda she had been willing to help him, she was willing to kill the Queen... he respected Clarke. And he for one didn't believe the story Titus was telling about her death or of Heda's. But right now his only real concern is that he must keep Ontari from becoming the next commander, if she wins the conclave they may just all die. Ontari is evil and she was raised by evil, The Ice Queen, his own mother. He knows what she is capable of. But Ontari has her weaknesses. And Roan knows what they are and Kane might just be the one who can use them against her.

"Enough!" he shouted again. "They have the right to be heard. Heda branded him, we may not have agreed with everything she did, or with each other but she brought them into the coalition, if we don't honor that then how can we honor you Zandar Kom Floukru, and the 3rd clan or you Esme Kom Yujleda, the 5th clan. I say he has a right to speak."

Roan steps back but doesn't sit, the tension in the room is high and he knows he has made a few enemies with that little speech, some of the ambassadors look a bit nervous, others angry and the generals and seconds are wishing they had their weapons, he can see their hands twitching as he looks around the room "I call for a vote" he looks at Titus and repeats himself "A vote…call the vote"

Titas can feel his control of the room slipping away but knows the clan protocol better than anyone and he must follow that. "Who seconds king Roans proclamation that the 13th clan be accepted?" for a few moments the room was silent and Kane begins to worry until he hears Zandar speak. The older man who represents the Boat People clan stood and in a strong voice said "In the name of our leader, Luna we recognize Skaikru as the 13th clan."

Titus nodded to the Floukru ambassador and addressed the rest of the ambassadors "How do you all vote?'

Many of the ambassadors stood, beginning with Ignus Ouskejon Kru "Sha osir seintaim vote sha" (Yes w _e too vote yes)"_

In all 8 of the 12 clans voted for the 13th clan to stand as Heda had wanted.

Titus looked at Kane "Kane kom Skaikru, you may speak…. But be brief we have much to attend to, we must honor Heda and prepare for the conclave of the new commander."

Titas steps back to stand next to the empty throne and Kane notices him glance down at the empty chair and he watches as a shadow of something moves across the Keepers face, but it quickly passes as he nods to Kane.

Kane steps back into the center of the council chamber and slowly turns 360 degree, taking his time to look at each ambassador, to look each of them in the eye, they must know he is serious; they need to understand his urgency or this mission will fail and Skaikru will be lost. And he began to speak...

"yu fought osir kom the beginning. yu fought the yong gonakru osir sent hir first, ba emo survived. en the heda knowing emo were yuj formed an hukop klark kom skaikru, en yu beda de the same."

He pauses, he knows some of his words aren't quite right but he hopes they appreciate his efforts "osir laik nau. thats nou na change. osir can nou go back kom the skai, our gonplei ste nou odon! osir laik trigedakru nau….. osir want kom live in peace. our kru, skiakru kom hogeda the clans ona the graun.

… " _You fought us from the beginning. You fought the young warriors we sent here first, but they survived. And the commander knowing they were strong formed an alliance with Clarke kom Skaikru, and you should do the same._

_We are here now. That's not going to change. We cannot go back to the sky. Our fight is not over. We are grounders now. And we want to live in peace. Our people, Skaikru, with yours, with all the clans on the ground."_

Harper smiled slightly at his words, she didn't understand all of them, but she felt his passion as he spoke them and she was proud of who they were, where they had come from and what Clark and Bellamy had taught them, and she now was proud to stand with Kane.

He moved around the room, looking and talking to each ambassador as if they were the only ones in the room, "We are here, you cannot change that. Yes you can make war against Skaikru, but be assured we will fight to stay and we will fight for the lives of our people, just as you would." He paused and stopped moving, coming to stand in front of the commanders throne.

"Pike…..he is the problem NOT Skaikru! Before Pike came to Arkadia, Heda, Clarke and our people were talking peace. We became the 13th clan and Clarke was the ambassador to this council, you all knew her and her fierce determination to make peace and keep her people safe. I plan to continue her work here. But for this to happen we must take Pike down!"

Kane turned towards the general from the Plains clan and passionately explains "…and yes we need your help to do that and yes you can refuse and yes we will succeed on our own, but it will take time, time you don't have, Pike is dangerous! To all of the clans….. He doesn't want to just keep his people safe he wants you all dead!"

Those words incited an angry response from the clan and Kane stood his ground, in the center of the room.

Roan stepped forward to stand with Kane and he put up his hands to quiet the angry crowd and turned to Kane and in a low voice said "Why would you add fuel to their already burning fire? They could kill you."

Kane looked at the King from Azgeda "We don't take Pike down we're dead anyway. They need to know what they face."…. he turned back towards the generals and raised his voice "You need to know what Pike is capable of. He and his people fought for months against the Ice Nation…." He looked hard at Roan and the Ice pnation king took a step back "….. They were attacked over and over, and by the time they reached Arkadia they had lost more than half their numbers. And they… were… Angry! Pike will stop at nothing to avenge his people against what the Ice Queen did and what she did at Mount Weather." He turned to Roan "We …. me and my followers, we know that Azgeda paid the price for that treachery and we consider the debt paid…. in full. Pike does not. He has the weapons necessary to fight for a long time, and you may win in the end, but it will be a long, bloody war and you will lose much and to win what? …to reclaim a small piece of land…"

"We want to avenge our dead, Sky man" a voice interrupted. An older General stepped into the center of the room and stood next to Roan but he addressed the whole room "Blood must have blood, but at what cost. That is what Heda was trying to teach us, what she and Clarke kum skaikru were trying to accomplish." He turned to look at Kane and pointed at him "Blood must have blood, but it must be his." Miller and Harper quickly stepped into the center now ringed by Ambassadors, Generals and warriors and stood next to their leader; they had no weapons but will fight with their bare hands if needed.

The general stepped closer to Kane "Pikes blood that is what it will take to avenge our people."

The general turned towards his people "I have fought my whole life, since I was a boy; I have served 4 commanders and will serve the next one as well, but now is not the time to make war. Who among us is ready to be rid of such a coward as Pike?"

"I am "said Roan.

And with his affirmation most of the other ambassadors agreed to at least talk with Kane.

The older general made his way back to his clan and motioned for the others to do the same. As the tension in the room began to dissipate Titas, who still looked uncomfortable nodded to Kane "Take your place among the clans Kane kom skaikru. We will begin."

King Roan leaned back in his chair, his regal bearing making him stand out among the other ambassadors and said "Do you have plan Kane? A way to rid ourselves of Pike?"

"Yes, tell us how many warriors we should let you have. 100? 200 … perhaps another 300 would take care of your problem." The General from the Plains clan referenced the 300 slain warriors who died in a hail of bullets, only a few months before.

Kane, still standing simply smiled "Yes I have a plan, and I would think 5 or 6 warriors should do."

...

The room was dark, too dark…. Wait not dark, a blindfold, there's a blindfold. He can't move, his arms are stuck…..wait not stuck, tied, their tied behind his back. The floor was cold and hard and he wasn't sure where he was and he wasn't sure how he got here. His head hurt and his chest hurt. His first real coherent thought was ' _Clarkes is going to be pissed if I ripped out those stitches_ '…wait…Clarke. They were in the woods… Polis, he was trying to get in the capitol. Where's Clarke? He whispered her name "Clarke…Clarke are you in here?" When no answer came back he stretched his legs out and felt around, and found nothing. He pushed himself up to sitting and leaned against the wall behind him. He moved his head around, against the wall until he had maneuvered the blindfold off his eyes. Not much help. The room actually was dark, but he could see the outline of a door just across from him and a dim light coming in underneath. He heard a few voices just outside the door and heard the sound of chains or keys rattling and the door slowly opened and a grounder guard walked in and grabbed Bellamy by his shirt and pulled him off the ground "You are Skaikru" he spit at Bellamy.

"What am I doing here?" Bellamy asked.

"Answering for your crimes Sky Boy" The grounder said as he tossed Bellamy against the stone wall hard enough to take his breath away and he slid to the ground. The guard walked over and kicked him, in the stomach "that is for my brother, one of the warriors your people slaughtered." The guard kicked him again and again. And with his hands tied behind him all Bellamy could do to protect himself was curl in a ball and as a particularly hard kick connected to his kidney he heard another voice…"ENOUGH!"

"If you kill him he is no use to me. Now take him take him and put him with the others."

Bellamy felt himself being lift to his feet, the guard repositioned the blindfold over his eyes and drug him out the door and down some stone stairs, Bellamy couldn't tell where he was being taken and he was certain that even if he got away, he wouldn't be able to find his way out. He heard the sound of a heavy door being opened and felt himself being shoved through. He fell hard against the floor as he heard the door close and lock behind him. He managed to get up on his knees and sit back on his heels, when he heard a voice cry out his name "Bellamy!" and he felt hands untying the ropes that bound him.

...

_Ok so this was fun to write, all that lovely grounder language! I hope you enjoyed that. …But where is Clarke you shout! And who is that untying Bellamy? And since he hasn't made an appearance in 2 chapters does this mean Murphy is really dead? Noooo!_

_And I realllllly like Kane, I mean other than Bellamy…and Murphy. Kane does it for me. And my wonderful darling muse wrote him so strong and commanding, right? (Abby is a lucky lady)_


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kane gets help from an unexpected source and Clarke makes her way back into hell to find Bellamy.

.......

Day two of the meeting of the clans was coming to a close, and they still hadn't spoken of the details of Kane's plan for taking Pike down, the ambassadors talked about Lexas legacy and honored her accomplishments. It was quite an eye opener for the Skaikru people, hearing the history of the commanders and of Polis. How their people had survived and rebuilt their society. There was something familiar about the story of Polis, but Kane couldn't quite put his finger on it. Tomorrow would be the third and final day of the meeting of the clans and also the conclave when the spirit of the commander would choose the next Heda, after that Kane wasn't sure when he would have another chance to bring up one last sensitive subject.

Titus stood next to the empty throne and was bringing the day to a close "Tomorrow when we will meet again the new commander will have been chosen. And the throne will no longer be empty and we will celebrate the new commander. Go, Eat, sleep and pray the spirit of the commander chooses wisely."

Titus started to step down as Kane took a deep breath and stood up "I would like to address one last piece of business before we adjourn"

The General from Floukru stood up "We will talk about Pike after the conclave, after the assention"

Kane looked at him "And I thank you for that, but that is not what I want to discuss…. It's about Clarke." Kane turned to speak to Titus "I would like to know exactly what happened to our ambassador. We only know what was told to Octavia and what she relayed to us. I would like to hear it from you Titus. Just to make sure we have been told the truth and so that I can reassure her mother, tell us what happened to Wanheda."

The General from the boat people sat down slowly, the ambassadors themselves had only been told the basics, not any actual details and they had discussed the situation among themselves. With Wanheda dead and at the hands of Titus, what they want to know ,is who has the power of the commander of death?

Titus stepped back up to stand next to the throne, looked around the room, took a breath and began "I had found out that the Skaikru boy …."

"Murphy?" Kane interrupted.

"I believe that was his name, he had been caught stealing, what he stole had the symbol of the commander on it. It is illegal to possess anything with the symbol of the Commander on it. He was arrested and was being questioned when Clarke found out, I wasn't there at the time, but I was told she waited until the guards had left him alone and she took him to her room. This is where Heda and I found them. The blockade was going into effect and Clarke was going to leave the city and take the boy with her. There was an argument between Heda and Clarke over the boy, normally anyone caught with the sacred symbol is put to death, but Heda was willing to simply let him be imprisoned for his crimes, but Clarke was fierce when it came to her people. She pulled out a weapon and said she was leaving and taking the boy with her, they were backing towards the door when a guard rushed in, the door hit Clarke and the gun…" Titus paused looking for the word "….went off…."

The rest of the story was much like it had been told to Octavia, Titus claimed that when Lexa was shot that one of the guards went for Clarke and that the boy got in the way and was killed and that Clarke turned the gun towards the guard and that Titus then killed her. Kane's face was devoid of expression, but his eyes held a deep sadness, he had hoped to take Abby better news than this. Miller and Harper were seasoned warriors and guards and did their best not to allow their emotions to show but even though they had known for almost a month it was hard for the small band of Arkadians to hear the details of Clarkes death. But as for now Kane had no reason to think that it was untrue. They had all seen the head on the wall as they entered the city, it certainly could had been Clarkes.

Kane nodded his thanks to Titus "I would like to know what has been done with their bodies we would like to take them home to rest among their people."

"I am afraid that is not possible," Titus said "we purify the dead by fire, Kane, you know this. Their bodies were burned right after they died."

Kane sighed in frustration but wasn't backing down "Alright, but I would like her…." Kane sighed and tried to remain calm but he was talking about the head of someone he cared about "… her head to be removed from the wall, we find it offensive that she should be so dishonored, she was not a criminal, what happened was an accident, so remove her from the wall and let us take her home."

Titus paused, it has been a month since he placed the head on the wall and while time and nature have begun the process of decay, if they see it up close they will certainly know it is not Clarke.

Roan once again came to the defense of Skaikru "Let them take her home, tomorrow we will have a new commander let's start the new rein without the decay of the past literally hanging over us."

Titus thought for a moment "It will be done Kane kom Skaikru, you will have her remains when you leave. Now let us adjourn." He would have to make sure they could tell it was not Clarke.

"Thank you." Kane said as the ambassadors and general began to leave the chamber.

Kane, Miller and Harper were escorted to the room they shared and when the door closed they began to relax a bit. Miller looked to Kane and raised his eyebrows and Kane smiled "Oh for God's sake, stand down Miller, you two have been on your feet for hours."

With that Harper fall on the bed and Miller dropped into a chair and said "Kane you know I like being in the guard, hell I was raised for it, but that, standing there, all fucking day, that's torture."

Kane chuckled as Harper sat up and kidded off her boots, took off her jacket and said "Well then sir if you don't mind I'm taking a hot bath and she headed to the bathroom, just as there was a knock on the door.

"That must be dinner." Kane said walking over to open the door "I'm starved."

Harper walked into the bath area and thought she could learn to like living in the city, there was food everywhere, and two days in the city and not a single grounder had tried to kill her, that's gotta be a record, she thought to herself. But the best thing was that every day, by the time they reached their rooms there was a tub filled with hot water. A luxury none of them had ever experienced even on the Ark. Kane and Miller were real gentlemen she thought to herself, they always let her go first, she smiled as she started to pull off her shirt, but stopped when she heard voices and two loud thumps coming from the other room, she paused for a moment and reached for the gun that was no longer across her shoulder "shit'' she muttered and she slowly and cautiously walked out to the main room.

….

Clarke got a mouth full of dirt as she hit the ground and felt a large rough hand cover her mouth and just as she was about to bite that hand and start kicking she saw boots in front of her face. … Tiny … they were tiny boots with fur around…Fuck! Octavia?!

Clarke tilted her head as Octavia bent down, "be quiet" she whispered as Lincoln let her go and helped her up. The three of them crouched down behind the trees and watched as Bellamy was drug through the back gate and into the city.

Clarke turned to face Octavia as they stood up. Octavia looked stunned "So you're not dead!" she whispered as she smiled and threw her arms around Clarke.

"No, I'm not" Clarke smiled as she released Octavia and turned to hug Lincoln. She turned back towards Octavia "I'm sorry I didn't come with you in Polis" she said. "Hell I'm so sorry for everything 'O' and I have a lot to tell you, but right now we have to get to Bellamy."

Octavia nodded "So I guess Murphy's not dead either."

Clarke's smile faded "I don't, know. He and I escaped Polis together, but Bellamy and I lost him to reapers in the tunnels earlier today."

Octavia looked at Clarke "He's survived everything the ground has thrown at him; don't give up on him yet. He keeps turning up, like a bad penny."

Lincoln frowned "…a bad penny."

Octavia shock her head and waved him off "It's an old Earth expression" She turned back to Clarke "Bellamy was going in and you weren't …. were you leaving again?"

Clarke understands Octavia's distrust, it's distrust that she herself has created, she sighs "We were going to meet up at one of the trading posts after the conclave. But now I don't know. If he can convince the guards to take him to Titus or to Kane, assuming he's alive, then he should be ok. But now I can't leave without knowing."

Octavia looked seriously at Clarke "Listen to me, I don't know what 'plan' this is or maybe it's all a game to you by now…." Her voice coming sharply and her breath ragged with anger "…. But you better not be playing with Bellamy again…" she got in Clarke face, all voice and hands flying "…. my brother has been hurt by you enough…."

Clarke brushed the hands out of her face and hollered back "Don't you think I know that…..I ..Hurt… everyone. Trust me I know…. I know!" Clarke sniffled "But I didn't ask for this, for any of this. None of us did. And it's easy for you…for everyone to sit back and judge me..… I am Wanheda… I am death; I know that better than you. I live with it! I sleep with it. I breathe it. And I know Bellamy's too good for me, that I don't deserve him." Clarke turned to look towards Polis, trying to gain control over her breathing and gritting her teeth to stop any tears from flowing. ' _No way in hell I'll cry in front of Octavia'_ she thought to herself. She took a deep breath "Let's just make sure he's safe and then if you think it's best for him, well then I'll move on." She turned back to look Octavia in the eyes ….. "I'll stay dead."

Octavia's face softened a bit. Her temper was harsh but it never lasted. She had a short fuse with a big bang that usually left you relatively unscathed.

"Look Indra went into the city yesterday; she got word to us that Kane and the others are alive. She was going to sneak us in the back way. That's why we are here, we just have to wait for her signal and then we can go in and get him."

"No….no" Clarke said "You can't. Neither of you can go in there. The kill order is still in effect. You step a foot in there and you won't stand a chance."

"Then what about Bellamy?" Octavia asked.

"Well if what Indra says is true and Kane is alive then he'll be alright…"Clarke paused "…anyway He has a weapon, a bargaining chip."

"What weapon?" Lincoln asked.

"Me." Clarke sighed "I'll explain later. When Indra signals I'll go in….."

Lincoln interrupted her "You are just as much danger as being killed as we would be, maybe more."

"Yea….but I'm already dead, remember. If I'm caught they will take me directly to Titus… You stay here, if they need to get out quickly they will come this way and they'll need you."

No one argued with her or tried to talk her out of it, they both knew she was right. And so they waited, quietly and patiently each caught up in their own thoughts until night began to fall it was then they saw the signal from Indra.

"Look" Lincoln said pointing towards the gate where Bellamy had been taken. The gate was well lit with torches and fire pits on either side of the entrance and there was Indra standing just outside the gate. There were two guards, one standing at the entrance and the other was talking with Indra as she pointed towards the trio hiding among the trees, the guard nodded moving quickly but stealthily in their direction.

"What the hell's she doing?" Clarke exclaimed.

"Shhhh "Said Lincoln "She sending him to us, reducing the number of guards she has to take care of…look" he pointed towards the gate and they watched as Indra appeared to go back into the city but quickly turned and hit the guard, knocking him out.

"Keep an eye on Indra," He said to Clarke "she will signal when you can go down….we will take care of the other guard….Be safe" He patted her arm and took off down the rise leaving her and Octavia

"Listen Clarke, If my brother wants you then that's fine by me. He…. could do worse…and has" Octavia handed Clarke her rifle "You just keep each other safe ok" and with that Octavia was going in another direction from Lincoln hoping to flank the guard.

Clarke watches as Indra pulls the guards body into the shadows and then reappears at the gate and slowly waves her torch. The signal that it was safe and Clarke made her way to the Trikru General.

….….

He made his was down the corridor, taking care to be quiet. Just getting this far had been problematic and not without serious risks, but after hearing Titus talking he knew he had to get them out, he wasn't sure where Clarke was by now, but he was fairly certain she wasn't here, at least Titus hadn't mentioned her…

"… _.bring them here. All of them." Titus was talking to his private guards just outside his Fleimkepa Chamber. "…. I will make sure they are taken care of. We cannot let Skaikru disrupt the conclave or the meeting of the Clans. Wait until after the meeting ….."_ Titus never mentioned Clarke or Wanheda. But he knew he had to get them out of the city, that's what she would do.

He saw the entrance to the room where Kane and the others were staying. He had followed the guards to the room and when they knocked he took his chance. Sword in hand he ran up behind them and stabbed one in the back as the door was opened, but he couldn't get the sword out of the dead guards back before being attacked by the other.

At that moment Kane opened the door to find a guard struggling with someone and another guard dead at his feet…. He saw a man peer around the guard who had his hands on his throat and choked out "For fucks sake help me!"

"Oh my God!" Kane exclaimed as he pulled the sword out of the guards back and used it to knock out the other one. Together they pulled the guards into the room, dropped them on the floor and closed the door "Holy Shit! What the hell are you doing here?" Miller shouted as Harper came running out of the bathroom. She stopped, dead in her tracks as her jaw dropped and she grabbed Millers arm and watched as Kane hugged an uncomfortable looking Murphy.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy tried to help Kane and the others escape and Clarke find help from an old adversary.

 

_Well …. Here it is…the last, the very last chapter…It's a long one but I didn't want to chop it up...Enjoy and please review, let me know what you think._

….

Clarke hid the rifle Octavia had given her under her cloak and made her way to where Indra was waiting; she kept to the shadows and managed to slip in the gate with a group of peddlers. Once inside the city she mingled with the city crowds until she was standing beside the former Trikru General…

Keeping her gaze straight ahead she whispered "Don't act surprised but It's me." Clarke turned and pulled her hood back just enough for Indra to see her face; Indra glanced at her and looked back out into the crowd never changing her expression. Even though she had been expecting Octavia she didn't look at all surprised to see Clarke "So you aren't dead after all?" Indra stated.

Clarke sighed "I guess the gods think I have too much left to do" she paused "I spoke to Lincoln and Octavia they're waiting for you in the woods. Bellamy was trying to get in the city but was taken by the guards, I need to find him and I need to know if Kane is alright."

"I saw Kane and the others today as they went in to the meeting of the clans, they were fine then, but now I am not so sure and I have an idea where they may have taken Bellamy." They began to walk through the city.

Night had begun to fall but the city streets were still filled with people, and except for a few torches and communal fires the city was growing dark, but that was to their advantage, the darkness and the crowds covered their movements as they made their way into an alley where they could talk without being overheard.

"Bellamy is most likely in the underground chambers that Titus uses. Since he is planning on killing Kane and the others, he would probably have standing orders that any Skaikru captured be taken there."

Indra looked at Clarke, there was no love or loyalty lost between the two women, she understood Heda's attraction for the sky girl and even understood the need for an alliance, although she didn't always agree with Heda about how to go about it. But Indra had grown to respect the strength that the sky people had, especially Octavia and Kane. She knew Octavia was growing into a strong warrior and Indra was proud of her. But it was Kane that Indra had grown to respect as a leader, she saw in him the strength of an entire people. He could be a great General, but Clarke was their Heda. Indra understood that she was a symbol to her people, and she was growing to at least respect the tenacity of this girl who has defied death so many times. If Lexa's coalition was to remain strong Polis would need them both.

Clarke furrowed her brow "How would Titus explain their sudden deaths?" She asked when Infra told her about Titus's plan to eliminate Kane and the others.

"He will say that they left Polis, I am sure he will have a very convincing reason as to why and he said he was going to have their bodies taken out of the city and then when they are found, most likely by a hunter, their deaths can be attributed to the kill order or perhaps someone seeking revenge."

"How did you hear about Titus plan for Kane?" Clarke asked.

"I had made my way to the alley near the Flemkapa Chamber, that's where I found your friend; he had made his way into the city through the tunnels, we overheard Titus talking to his guards. I came here to warn Lincoln and Octavia and he went to warn Kane."

Clarke looked puzzled "What friend?"

"The one who was killed by Titus just as you were."

Clarke gasped and she grabbed Indra arms "Murphy is here?! He's not dead? Are you sure?"

Indra looked down at the hands tightly gripping her arms and gave Clarke a rather menacing look. Clarke removed her hands "Sorry…..but when I saw Murphy this morning he was fighting reapers, I thought he was dead."

Indra looked around the alley, "He may well be by now. Titus planned to capture Kane after today's meeting ended and that was hours ago." Indra expression went from stern to worried "They should have been waiting for me here."

…..

Murphy patted his fingers on Kane's back "Ok Ok, this is kinda creepy Kane."

Kane released Murphy and looked at him "You're supposed to be dead!"

"Yea we've been getting that a lot lately" Murphy smirked.

"We?" Miller exclaimed "You and Clarke?"

"Yep….she's not dead either." Murphy leaned in "That's probably the better news, right."

Harper walked over and hugged Murphy and said "You can be a complete shit but we're glad you're not dead." She pulled away "There's too few of us left….and if you've been with Clarke this whole time and she hasn't killed you, well maybe there's hope for you."

Kane put his hands up, his face showing his growing anger at the situation "Wait!...What's going on here Murphy? Why did you kill a guard? We have been making progress today with the clans, they accepted us back as the 13th clan, and you may have just ruined everything."

"Yea, well maybe you're getting chummy with the clans but not with Titus, he's the one who killed Lexa, not Clarke and now he's planning to kill all of you."

He looked at the three of them "We don't have time for this; we are supposed to meet Indra like five minutes ago. Let's get the hell outta here and I'll explain on the way."

"Wait,  Indra?" Kane started.

"Yea we're big bud's now. She loves me. Can we get going?"

"Just one more thing, tell us where Clarke is." Miller asked.

A darkness passed over Murphy's face and his usual smirk faded "I don't know, we got separated in the tunnels… by reapers…. I thought they'd be here by now." He looked at them "Just get your shit together and let's go"… he looked at Harper "Boots…..would be good." He pointed to her feet.

…...

Murphy opened the door and looked down the corridors and motioned to the others to follow him.

"I'll lead" Kane said.

Murphy backed up and put his hands up like a surrendering cowboy "oh of course, have at it" he pauses as Kane starts forward down the hall "Do you know where you're going?" He stood with his arms crossed.

Kane turned back "I've been here before, Murphy."

Murphy nodded "Yea…. Didn't answer my question."

Kane sighed "I guess not. You can lead, but keep your head together and no bullshit Murphy."

Murphy shook his head as he led them to the right "What bullshit Kane, I'm saving your ass. You think I wanna be back here. If I had my way I'd be in Paris, not that there's probably anything left of Paris, but you get my drift." They reached a doorway and Murphy stopped and turned "I left a warm bed and an even warmer body, just to be here. So try to be nice." They headed down the back stairway, the same stairway he and Clarke had used a month before.

They had gotten most of the way down, traversing the broken stairs and climbing where they needed to only to find that the last 5 floors had crumbled and the stairway was completely gone. And without ropes there wasn't any way to climb down.

"Wow they've really let this place go hell" Murphy said looking around for options.

"Here, we'll go that way." He pointed to a door behind Miller "See if it opens Miller."

It took Miller and Murphy working together and several tries to get the door opened. They made their way out into the hall and Murphy pointed towards the main stair way at the other end of the hall, "that's the only way down so be very quiet and if we run into anyone, try to look….yea know like a grounder."

The hall way was clear at least for the moment. Murphy led the way, he had a sword in his hand but he really missed the feel of cold steel. He had lost his gun in the tunnels; after he had run out of bullets he used it to beat the last reaper to death.

Kane was right behind him, followed by Harper and Miller bringing up the rear. Harper and Miller had taken the swords off of the guards and Kane had an ax. They all missed their rifles every bit as much as Murphy.

They made their way down two flights when they heard voices coming up the stairs. Quickly Murphy grabbed Kane's arm and they all ducked through a door into what looked like a meeting room. The room just had old chairs and a few tables and there were no candles lit and after quickly closing the door it left them in almost complete darkness. Harper took out her flashlight and started to illuminate the space. When they were sure the room was empty they relaxed a bit and Murphy asked for the torch. Harper handed it over and Murphy began to look around the room, behind the curtains and taping on the walls.

"What are you looking for?" Kane asked setting the heavy ax against a wall.

"Tunnels, secret passageways, this place is full of them, that's how Clarke and I got out."  
After a few minutes Kane walked over to the door and listened "I don't hear anything, let's give it another try."

The others stood next to the door and waited as Kane slowly opened the door when they heard a voice from inside the room "Don't go any farther."

They all turned in surprise as Titus stepped out from the shadows leaving an open panel in the wall.

The four Arkadians moved quickly away from the door as three large, well-armed warriors came in blocking their escape. The Skaikru fighters separated, drew their weapons and Kane looked at the ax he had taken from the dead guard leaning against the wall out of reach and he shouted to Titus "You don't have to do this." as he turned to see the guards descend on them.

Murphy ran at Titus as Kane lunged at the first grounder, throwing his body weight against the warrior and knocking him off his feet. Kane got a few good hits in before the grounder yelled and attacked Marcus with the hilt of his sword. Marcus tasted the familiar metallic taste of blood in his mouth as his head snapped to the right and as he went down he saw the others fighting for their lives.

Harper was small and easy for the grounder to simply pick up and throw across the room, but she was back on her feet before he could get to her again, she ran at him and as he swung his sword in a way that was meant to take her head off her shoulders, she used her small stature to her advantage and dropped to one knee and slid just under the heavy weapon and chopped the outside of his knee with her sword bringing the warrior to down to one knee and as she came up, she turned and plunged the weapon deep into his back, she pulled it out as he fell and stepped back, her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

Titus wasn't a fool, as Murphy approached he drew a long dagger from under his robes and advanced as Murphy charged. Murphy attacked swinging wildly and Titus easily parried each swing, finally taking Murphy down with a simple but effective kick to the stomach. As murphy went down losing his sword he heard Titus "I should never have let you escape." The next kick connected to Murphy's jaw and with blood spewing through his lips he hit the floor.

Miller was one of the best fighters Arkadia had and he was holding his own against the grounder guard. He knew Kane was out cold and Murphy was going for Titus. Miller let the guard back him up, he let the guard think he had the advantage, he wanted the guard to think he was tiring but just as he was about to take the warrior out, the guard stopped fighting and took a step back. Miller looked around, Murphy was on the floor at Titus feet and then he saw Harper, blood on her hands, a dead grounder at her feet and a large knife at her throat …

"I assure you he will kill her. Drop your weapon." Titus said as he rolled Murphy over with his foot and stepped over him. Miller hesitated to give up his weapon and the grounder pressed the knifes edge into the soft flesh on Harpers neck drawing blood, she gritted her teeth but never made a sound and Miller lowered his sword to the ground never taking his eyes off of her as Titus came up behind him.

…...

Kane heard a voice, he knew the voice and he strained trying to hear it more clearly _'sir, sir'_ the voice said. The voice got louder ' _Kane wake up'_ he felt his body stir "Harper?" he said as he came to, his face lying against a cold damp floor, he tried to move his hands and felt the weight of heavy chains against his wrists. He forced himself to sit up and get his bearings. "Is everyone alright?" He asked looking around the room "Harper. You ok?"

She had a deep cut along her throat, a split lip, her guard jacket was gone and her cloths torn. She was sitting, leaned against a stone wall, with her hands chained to the wall "Yes sir." She said quietly "I'm ok."

Murphy and Miller were both lying on the other side of the room. "Can you tell if their OK?"

"They're breathing sir; I think they are just unconscious."

Kane looked at Harpers condition and feared the worst "Harper…..Look at me. Did they hurt you?"

She looked up "No sir, just wanted to scare me a little I think. Grounder warriors don't think much of Skaikru and less of our female warriors….but I'm ok."

"She held her own El Capitan" Murphy groaned as he pushed himself up "They just picked on her 'cause she scored a kill on them and we didn't."

Miller was coming to and sat up "Any idea where we are?" he asked.

"We're below ground, and still in the capitol building, I know that." Harper said.

Murphy looked around; he crawled over to Harper and tried to undo her chains.

"This is Titus dungeon. No one is going to find us in here unless they know where to look." He couldn't get Harpers chains off and move over to Kane to try and free him.

Kane looked around the room, there were a few candles lit, he saw drawings on the wall, like primitive cave art he'd seen in a book his mother once had. He continued to look around "Murphy….is that….is that a pod from the Ark?"

"Yea, interesting story that….." he said but just continued working on the chains.

Miller moved over to the shivering Skaikru guard and draped his jacket across her shoulders and laid his arm around her "So you going to tell us what the hell a hundred year old pod is doing down here?"

Unable to free Kane, Murphy simply sat back and began to reveal the story of Becca, the AI, Jaha's city of light and how the world really ended.

When he had finished his tale all Kane could say was "Son of a Bitch."

It wasn't long after that when they heard voices from the other side of the heavy wooden door and it slowly opened, a guard pushed a body in and it fell on the floor. Miller crawled over and began to untie the ropes on his arms as Harper shouted his name "Bellamy!"

…...

Indra had taken Clarke to the Alley where the passage way was that lead into the secret chamber.

"Indra you have to go find Lincoln and Octavia. I'll go find Bellamy and the others. But if anything happens to us you, if we don't make it out, if Titus makes good on his threat to kill Kane, then you, Octavia and Lincoln are the only ones that can tell what really happened to Lexa, you have to go. Take everything I've told you and keep it safe."

Clarke held out her arm to Indra "I couldn't have gotten this far without you, please you need to go." Indra reached out and grasped the sky girl's forearm. "May we meet again Wanheda." She turned and Clarke watched as she walked out of the alley and disappeared into the crowd.

Then Clarke turned and moved deeper into the dark alley and slipped into the passageway that leads to Titus's chamber.

…...

"Why? I thought you wanted Lexa's coalition to be strong" Kane shouted to Titus as he stood over Miller.

"The coalition will only be strong when Skaikur has been defeated." He rolled an unconscious Miller over with his foot and nodded to the guard.

"Take him first…."

"No..." Bellamy shouted "leave him alone."

Bellamy, Kane and Harper were still in the chains, while Murphy and Miller and been drug to the middle of the room and beaten by Titus looking for information on Clarkes whereabouts.

Titus ignored him "Take him outside the city, take him into the woods and hang him. Clarke will see him and she will come for the others."

"No, please, please don't" Harper cried as the guard picks him up and turns towards the door.

"That won't be necessary" a voice says as the chamber door opens and Clarke walks in. She points her rifle towards the guard "Put him down."

The guard hesitates, Clarke sighs at the guard "I don't think you're taking me seriously."

She shakes her head and points the weapon at Titus while still looking at the guard "Do you think I won't?" She was talking softly through clinched teeth, "I killed more than 300 of your fellow warriors, some with my own hands and I ended an entire mountain filled with people, what's a few more….. now put him down."

Titus gave a brief nod of his head to the guard and he lowered Miller to the ground.

"On your knees" she said to the guard. "Sit down Titus." Clarke pointed to the heavy chair in the middle of the room. "Let's chat."

Clarke walked over to the guard as Titus stood his ground. She raised her eyebrows at the flame keeper and using the butt of the gun against the back of his head she knocks out the guard and he falls to the floor.

She turned the gun back on Titus as she untied Murphy and helped him up "Get them free" she said to Murphy. Never really taking her eyes off of Titus she put her hand on Murphy's shoulder and whispered "I'm glad you're not dead."

He smirked "let's try and keep it that way."

…...

"Sit down Titus" Clarke watched as Titus sat in the chair, the same chair he had Murphy tied to not that long ago.

"Titus you need to let them all go. You have me now…"

"Clarke!?" Bellamy shouted but she couldn't bring herself to look at him, she was going to hurt him again but if it would save them all ….well …. it had to be done. "I've got this" she said to Bellamy never talking her eyes off of Titus.

"…Let them go and we can talk or I can shot you right now. This can only end in one of two ways, with us coming to an understanding or with you dead and all of Polis knowing the truth. It's your choice. Either way, they all live, they go free."

"Your friends can't go. I can't allow that. No one can ever find out the truth about what happened to Heda." Titus stood up and took a step towards her "You may have killed before, but I've seen you show weakness when you freed Emerson, when you couldn't kill Lexa and you failed to kill Queen Nia….. You're not going to kill me now."

"Perhaps, but Titus… You Will Let Everyone Go." She said with firm conviction "Because there are others that know the truth, do you think I'm stupid enough to walk in here without some kind of security. There are others that know what you did, they know Murphy and I are alive and they know the truth about the history of the commanders. And if my friends are harmed in any way the ambassadors will be the first to be told. And you will die, but worse than that Lexa's coalition will fail and war will break out among the clans and the Ice nation will have their victory."

Clarke waited and saw that Murphy had freed everyone, he had gotten the key from the guards pocket and removed their chains; Harper knelt next to Miller and was cradling his head in her lap while Kane and Bellamy stood rubbing their wrists and watching her. Kane was just happy to see her alive and Bellamy was terrified she'd follow through and disappear again.

"I know you don't want that," She said still talking to Titus "you don't want Azgeda to sit on Lexa's throne" She paused and took a step closer "I know you loved her, and you were proud to serve her, so work with me. Let's keep her dream of a strong coalition alive. Let the 13th clan help you do that."

She saw him wavering "Listen to me, you let them go, you help Kane over throw Pike and you let the 13th clan stand with the other clans and I will stay dead. No one will ever know you lied or that you were the one who killed Lexa. Do this for her and I will disappear.….. Wanheda will stay dead, a trophy for Trikru, you can keep wanheda's power here!"

She turned to look at her friends, her people and at Bellamy, the words ' _I'm sorry'_ bleeding from her eyes "But in return for my death, the 13th clan has to be kept safe, until they can grow and become stable, they're still children." She turned her attention back to Titus "They're just learning to walk on this world, to live on the ground. They need time to learn the ways of the clans and to teach the clans the things they know. That exchange of information is valuable even if peace isn't."

Clarke could see the decision he'd made reflected in his eyes and she heard it in the long pause before he spoke "No one else can ever know you are alive," he finally said "I know the ones you have told. Indra, her second the Skaikru girl and Lincoln her lover….." Titus leaned in towards the strong woman who stood before him "…Know this Clarke if you are ever found, if any rumors surface that your alive, they will die, I will see to it that they all die."

"I understand. The same applies to you, if I hear that anything happens to any representative from Arkadia, I will show up in the middle of Polis and I will tell my story to everyone, from every clan. Do we have an understanding? Kane and his guards will stay for the conclave and the 13th clan will have all the same rights as the other clans."

"Yes." Titus looked at Clarke.

Clarke turns her back to Titus and hands her rifle to Murphy "You find Indra and the others, they are waiting in the woods, let them know that everyone is ok." She looked up at her friend, she stepped in and touched his arm, she didn't know how to thank him for all he had done for her. Her voice low, almost a whispered "And then you need to get the hell out of here before he changes his mind."

She smiles as Murphy rolls his eyes "You are going to be so bored without me" he says as her pulls her in a bear hug and she whispers something in his ear. He closes his eyes for a moment, purses his lips, sighs and nods his head against her neck.

Murphy pushes her away and looks around at his fellow Sky people, nods his goodbyes and slips out the heavy wooden door.

Clarke turns towards Titus "Our agreement covers Murphy too, no one touches him, he remains safe."

Titus agrees and turns toward Kane his expression unreadable "I will have my attendants take you back to your rooms." He looks back to Clarke his expression hardens a bit "Our agreement begins now Clarke, get out of Polis." Titus turns and leaves the room.

Clarke walks over to Miller who has regained consciousness and helps Harper get him on his feet.

She hugs Harper "Your mom is going to very happy Clarke" Harper says, Clarke just smiles and turns to Miller and takes hold of his forearm "Glad you're ok Clarke, he's been a hell to live with since you died." He says nodding towards Bellamy, Clarke smiles and feels Bellamy's eye on her back.

She turns to all of them "Listen you can't tell anyone about this. No one at all, no one in Arkadia can know, the risk is too great." She turned to Kane "No one Kane."

"You're not even going to come see her." Kane askes

"I can't go to Arkadia, too many people already know the situation and the more people that know the higher the risk of someone finding out the truth." Clarke looked at Kane,

"And if Abby knows I'm alive she'll worry about where I am, or what's happening to me. Save her from that, please. It's better if I stay dead."

"Better for who!?" Bellamy demanded.

At that moment Titus returned with his private guards "Please escort the ambassadors from the 13th clan to their rooms. And then escort Clarke out of the city."

"Give me a moment, let me say goodbye." Clarke walks over to Kane and takes his hand "You take care of them ..please..., you over throw Pike and get him to the new commander and you take Arkadia back." Clarke pauses "Look out for my Mom…." her voice cracks with emotion "….and give this to her…." She placed her father's watch in his hand "….you can tell her you found it among my things here. She should have it."

Kane felt his eyes fill up "I will, Arcadia will grow strong and Abby…..I'll take care of her, I promise." He wraps her in his arms and whispers to her "You ever need anything you get word to me." He releases her "I mean it; no one has to know….." He looks around the room "…. Not even them."

"Thank you" Clarke said to Kane as she turned to Bellamy.

Kane walked over and helped Harper with Miller and joined the guards at the door but turned back "Bellamy, if you are staying the guard knows where our room is, but …..well….." and he left it at that as they walked out of the chamber leaving them alone.

"What the hell was all that?" Bellamy growled after the others left the chamber "You're going to leave again, just like that. Why do you think you have to do everything alone?" Bellamy took hold of her arms "I can't let you go, come home Clarke, we'll figure something out."

"Or you could come with me." Clarke looked into the deep brown eyes, but she knew his answer. She knew there wasn't an easy solution, there has been.

Bellamy let go of her arms, turned away and raked his hands through his hair "It's not that simple."

"It never is" Clarke sighed. "You need to go back."

Bellamy spun around "Yes…. I have to see this through; I have to be there, when Pike gets arrested. I helped that man do horrible things, I need to make it right." He stepped closer and took her arms again, gently this time, and pulled her into his chest "I need to make sure Kane is the new chancellor. I need to do this." He whispered into her hair.

Clarke nodded "I know, and I love you for it." She looked up at his beautiful face "But I can go now, knowing you don't hate me, knowing we will always forgive each other even when no one else can."

Clarke reached up and lightly kissed his lips as his tears began to fall. "I have to go" she whispered against his lips.

His grip on her arms tightened and his face hardens "You stay alive, you hear me? You do what you have to, to survive. And I will find you. When everything in Arkadia is settled, I'll find you no matter where you go or what happens, I will find you." He pulls her back in and crushes his lips to hers in what could be their last kiss and without pulling her lips from his she begins to cry, for once she's not ashamed of her tears "I'll survive, I promise, I will wait for you."

Titus comes back in with a guard "Take the boy to his clan's rooms" The guard takes Bellamy by the arm and steers him towards the door, but he manages to stop at the door and turns to look at her one more time, "No matter how long it takes, I will find you." He jerks his arm away from the guard never taking his eyes off of her. And then he turns and walks out and Clarke closes her eyes, burning into her memory all the things he said with just his eyes and she follows Titus through the passageway and out of the city.

…

Oh sigh…..

I love you guys for sticking with me. Thank you for the feedback and the love!...Oh and stick around for the epilogue.


	16. Chapter 16 / Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do Clarke and Bellamy find each other? Where did Murphy go after he left Polis and what happened to Arcadia and to the rest of the 100. .... I'm sure you figured out by now that I simply suck as summaries.

 

**Technically this is chapter 16 and the epi…..  so if it seems a little long for an epilogue just tell yourself its really another chapter too.**

**A GI-nor-mous thank you to everyone who reviewed and read and PM'd and well everything THANK YOU!**

… **..**

**Aftermath – Epilogue (and chapter 16 sorta)**

He gently patted dirt over the row of seeds he just planted and surveyed his work, almost a full days labor, the garden soil had been tilled, he'd pulled out all the rocks, added manure and now the seeds were in. He smiled as he wiped the soil from his hands. He'd grown to love the feel of dirt on his hands, but it wasn't always that way, there was a time when he couldn't seem to get his hands clean enough, but after all this time the blood stains under his nails have finally been replaced by the rich earth soil. This year the winter had been long and hard and he couldn't wait to for spring so he could till the soil and spend his days working in the garden. This was his solace, his redemption. He smiles as he always does when he realizes how different life is now compared to 2 years ago. He looks back at the home they've made and at their friend Sara, sitting on the ground playing with their 1 year old son, Blake.

Sara came to visit whenever she could; a few times a year at least and she was even here when Blake was born. She never stayed in one place too long, she moved around a lot. She lived a nomadic life because it was necessary but she was well suited for it. He worried about her a lot during the cold months, when the ground was frozen and animals were scarce, he didn't know how she survived the winter months and he didn't ask, but he knew that as soon as the snow began to melt and the wild crocuses began to bloom that she would be here, to spend the spring with them. He and Sara were close, they were bonded by blood, death and sacrifice, and she was as close to him as if she were his sister. They were family.

Niylah came out on the porch to call them in for lunch. John wiped the dirt off his hands and brushed it off his pants as he turned to look out into the fields and woods that surrounded the trading post where they lived. It had a long time since the truce was established between Trikru, the 12 clans and Arkadia, but he was always on watch, especially when Sara was here. No one ever recognized him but Sara; well it seemed everyone knew the story of who she used to be. As he reached down to gather up his tools he paused as he watched the tree line he thought he saw movement in the woods, he set down the tools and pulled the pistol from the handmade holster at his hip and watched as a lone figure walked out of the woods and headed towards the post. As the man came closer, his features became clear and John relaxed, he smiled as he holstered his weapon and called to friend "Sara…" he waited and when she didn't respond he thought maybe she has gone inside but when he turned he saw she was still there playing with Blake. John just shook his head. She picked the name Sara because she said in ancient times it meant Princess but half the time she didn't answer to it, so he tried again "Clarke" he called and she looked up.

He motioned for her to come over. She stood up and took the toddlers hand and walked over "What's up Murf?"

He didn't way a word he just picked up his son, pointed out to the field and watched as her expression changed, a smile grew on her face and her eyes began to light up. John patted her shoulder and walked back to the house as Niylah came out on the porch, he put his arm around her and said "Guess who's coming to lunch" he smiled and watched as his old friends found each other again.

He felt tears well up in his eyes, he knew they would see less and less of Clarke now, but he was happy for her. She had waited a long time.

Clarke looked towards the man walking closer and closer, there was no mistaking who it was, the tall lean body, the mop of dark curls…a gasp caught in her throat and tears spilled out of her eyes as she began to walk towards him.

She wondered if he would recognize her. She darkened her hair a little and kept it pulled back, mostly as a way to disguise her most prominent feature, her golden hair. Her skin was tan from living mostly outdoors and she was a thinner than she used to be. But her fears were unfounded, all Bellamy needed was to see those blues eyes and a smile spread across his face as his pace quickened and Clarke began to run.

They fell into each other's arms, no words were necessary.

They held each other a long time neither wanting to let go, it had been so long and both had worried that the other wouldn't or couldn't wait. Bellamy pulled back after a few moments and took her face in his hands "I love you Clarke."

"I love you too Bellamy" she stepped in closer and coming onto her tip toes she pulled him down and their lips met for the first time in 2 years. Tentative at first, then as the realization that they were finally together took over the kiss deepened and Bellamy pulled her even closer feeling her body melt into his. He groaned into her lips as her tongue went searching for his.

Again it was Bellamy pulling away, still holding her face he wiped a tear from her cheek "We might want a little privacy if we go on like this."

She smiled back "Let's go inside, I'm sure John wants to say hello and introduce you to his son."

"They have a son? That's wonderful, from killer delinquent to a family man. What's the kid's name?"

He asked as they walked toward the house. Clarke smiled "Blake"

Bellamy was stunned, after everything, he looked down at Clarke "Why?"

She looked up at him and shrugged "He respects you. And because Blake wasn't born a girl."

Clarke got serious for a moment and looked up at him "I have to ask, how long can you stay? When do you have to leave?"

Bellamy pulled her close, kissed the top of her head and said "I'll leave when you do princess, I'll go where you go. From now on Clarke, anywhere you go, I'll be at your side."

…..

Lunch was a lively affair, Bellamy had many stories to tell of their family, the remnants of the original 100 who came from the Ark, who went from 'whatever the hell we want' to warriors, leaders and citizens of Arkaidia….. the Original Skiakru people. Pike had been over thrown within three months of the meeting of the clans. Titus had upheld his end of the bargain and the new commander knew it was in his best interest to help the Skiakru people if he wanted his reign as commander to be the start of a brighter future. Ontari was originally chosen as Heda, but was quickly overthrown and killed, Kane suspected it was Roan but the murder was never found. Kane was elected chancellor shortly after and about six months later they were able to destroy the backpack containing the Artificial Intelligence known as ALIE, thanks to the intel from Murphy, all without risking the Commander and the implanted AI.

Jaha left the camp after that, he was a broken man his city of light proven to be an illusion, and he hadn't been seen since. Raven and Wick were still together, and still argue all the time.

Clarke was thrilled to hear that Miller and Harper were expecting their first child in the spring. There were at least half a dozen families that now had more than one child. Jasper and Monty took over the bar and they were making a great success of it, which was interesting since Jasper hadn't had a drink in almost 2 years.

Octavia and Lincoln lived in TonDC, Octavia and Indra were now in charge of training the grounder warriors and Lincoln was a teacher and studying healing from Nyko. And Bellamy, well he had stayed to help Kane set up a new guard, and to explore ways to integrate grounder and Arkadian fighting styles, for almost 2 years he was Kane's Second. But he said he knew when he got the letter from Murphy 2 months ago that he couldn't stay there anymore. At the first sign of spring, he said his goodbyes.

"You sent him a letter?" Clarke asked Murphy "you didn't tell me."

"I ran into Miller this past winter, he was running recon not far from here, I wrote a quick note so that Bellamy would know you're usually here in the spring."

Clarke smiled "Thank you."

Bellamy knew what Clarke's next question would be "I have something for you from Abby." He said as he handed her a small clothe package from his pack. "I never told her that you were still alive but after Pike was killed and handed over to the coalition and Kane took over…well… he and your mom...….they got together and last year they married."

Clarke's eye got big "Married? Wow. ….. Are they happy?" she asked looking at the small package in her hands.

Bellamy smiled "Yea….made everyone sick for a while, they were so happy…but there was a shadow too, she missed you, so much that I almost told her everything the day of the wedding. Before the ceremony she said it was wrong that you missed out on all the good that came from all you had done, the end of Pike, the building of a strong relationship between us and the grounders, her and Kane. She said she was sorry that you and I didn't have the chance we deserved." He reached out and took her hand and watched as her eyes grew misty. "But a month or so later I noticed something had changed, she would talk about you and her face wouldn't grow dark and sometimes she would look at me and smile…Abby never smiled at me… and after I told Kane I was leaving she came to see me and gave me that…" he pointed at the package she held ''….. She said to tell you that she understands and she loves you. Kane must have told her."

Clarke looked at the package and slowly began to untie the string that held the clothe together, inside was a folded piece of paper, on the outside of the paper was her name written in her mother's hand, Clarke smiled softly and picked up the letter to read it but she froze and simply said "Oh….Oh Mom." Under the letter was her father's watch.

Clarke knew now that her mother had forgiven her for everything, the missile at TonDC, the mountain, for leaving, and for not coming back. Bellamy knelt beside her and pulled her to him. She looked at him, her Rebel King, at Murphy, her brother and she looked at the watch that hadn't kept time in many years but always managed to keep her on track and she now knew a deep peace and contentment that she had not ever felt before. She knew that even if her friends, her people, thought she was dead that it was Ok, they were Ok. Loving them enough to die had been worth the risk.

After lunch Clarke and Bellamy went to the shed out back where Bellamy recovered from his wound so long ago. She closed the door behind them and walked into his arms. And there in the dimly lit room they came together, just a man and a woman, no war, no one to lead, no one looking for answers and no one needing forgiveness. Just two lovers parted for too long, lovers whose souls were destined to be joined when they fell from the sky.

…

_***** A group of young people sat together at a bar, two more stood behind it getting ready to close down for the night. The bar was made up of spare parts, an eclectic mix of expensive and priceless pieces from the mountain and whatever could be scavenged from the wreckage of the Drop ship._

_The DropShip Bar had officially closed for the night but the friends were having one last round. The party had gone on most of the night and sun up was only a few hours away, 'Be closed by sun up' that was the only rule Kane had imposed for tonight's celebration. ….._

" _Shhhhh everyone, I have something to say" Raven leaned into Wick so she wouldn't fall over as she swayed just a little….. "To Bellamy" Raven cheered as she raised her glass._

_The others followed "To Bellamy" they cheered._

_Monty toasted next "May he travel safe" and they clinked their glasses…_

" _May he be happy" Octavia said as she held Lincoln's hand …_

" _And may he find what he's looking for." Miller toasted while a very pregnant Harper sat next to him._

_And with that they all tossed their drinks back and slammed the glasses on the bar._

_Except Jasper, he looked around at the group, at his friends, at the 'Kids'_

" _He will," he said "Bellamy will find her. They deserve that." He paused "another toast."_

_Monty quickly filled everyone's glasses with The 100 Reserve Special, the finest 'Shine he had ever made and Jasper continued…._

_"To Clarke" ….."To Clark they all cheered."_

" _May they travel safe, May they be happy and May they find each other….. To Mom and Dad." Jasper toasted._

_A loud cheer went up and once again the glasses slammed on to the bar and then one by one they left….. the last of the delinquents, the last of the ones sent to die, the last of the survivors, and the last of The 100._

" _Best damn Unity day ever!" Jasper said as he locked the door and closed up for the night._

_..._

Sniff, sniff… Please let me know what you think. …

Well hope you enjoyed my first foray into the FF of The 100!

Peace and Light

ce


End file.
